When we were growing up, it seemed that anywhere we went in town there was always someone very excited to see you. The little ones usually enjoyed comparing height with you, especially if they hadn’t seen you in a while, and whether they were adults or little kids, you were never met with anything but sincere joy and enthusiasm. Everyone who has ever known you has absolutely loved you and benefited from your infectiously loving and nurturing spirit.
Your favorite thing to do was serve God and others (I know what that means because of you!). You loved to be the accompanist, on many levels. The accompanist accepts no glory but always supports and encourages so willingly and unselfishly. And though many knew (myself included) that this is the way we should live, it’s easy to excuse selfish, divisive, and other hurtful behavior with some ridiculous sense of entitlement. None of that was a part of the way you chose to live your life. I’ve only known you to be a meek and humble peacemaker. The accompanist also brings people together. Everyone gathers around the accompanist, who acts as the base and steady anchor, the rhythmic pulse, and the complimentary harmony, which allows everyone else to shine and fuses everything together to complete the music.
Your unfailing love has given us an understanding of God’s unconditional and sacrificial love. You’ve always waited with open arms, as we sought refuge with you. How lucky we are to have only wonderful things to say about you and such fun memories of you to treasure eternally. In fact, everything has a funny way of reminding me of you.
I’m reminded of you when I drink coffee, and how it was such a daily necessity for you, how cute you were when you’d get upset at the wait staff for neglecting you refills; the big thermos you’d take to school with you, all of the coffee mugs you received as gifts throughout the years – even just the smell and sound of brewing coffee.
I think of you as I’m cleaning my house, and the way you pretend to be on a show to make your chores more interesting; or how you talked in accents to the dishes and often just for fun. Silly thing stand out in my mind and are so fun to think about like making soup, classic literature, granola, going shopping, singing and playing music (especially with my children), when we made our dog do a series of tricks and called it ‘circus buddy’, and how you called the people going fast on the road ‘Ricky Racer’, and the time you said that the Verizon employee “talked too many words”; and singing in three part harmony and rounds in the car on trips (when we kids weren’t being too obnoxious).
It’s not easy to let you go, Mom. I really hate it!! It’s truly been such a complete pleasure, such a joy to be your daughter! Nothing could possibly replace you or even come close to comparing with you, and I’ll miss you every day of my life, Mom.
Thank you for being the incredible person you were! Thank you for never giving up on me, and continuing to love me so effortlessly! Thank you for constantly investing yourself in other people! Mom, I can only hope to be a fraction of the mother and person that you were. We have a new saying among our family, which is ‘what would Julie do?’, and we’re all trying to be more like you. Thank you for inspiring us all to be much better people, by showing us how. I love you so much, Mom!!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Jake's Letter to Mom
It didn’t take long for those who met my mother to realize that there was something uniquely endearing about her. Her stature was the obvious thing people noticed first. At 4 ft. 11, she was tiny but also disarmingly warm. She was always smiling! She smiled in traffic, at the grocery store, to anyone she made eye contact with, sometimes just to herself. She was eager to learn about those she met. When she asked how you were, you knew it wasn’t just a greeting, but that she really meant it.
Kids loved her! As a music teacher, she impacted thousands of children. I grew used to having someone I’d never even seen before approach my mom and tell her how positively she had impacted their or their children’s lives. She was a truly selfless servant to others.
Mom loved music, and had a tremendous gift for it. She felt uncomfortable with attention, preferring to be behind the piano accompanying others. She sang often and it was infectious in our household. I loved singing with her. Growing up, my sisters and I would stand around her at the piano singing hymns or praise and worship songs, singing while she played and harmonized. She could blend with anyone, and was as giving a singer as she was a human being.
She was a loving wife and grandaughter, sister and cousin, daughter and friend, and a truly outstanding mother.
I feel humbled and gracious that I got to be this beautiful, amazing person’s son. This kind, gentle, patient woman, who has profoundly impacted so many lives, is my mother. Knowing her was a privilege. Whether a co-teacher, a student, or a stranger at the gas station, my mom treated you like a friend, as she was to so many. She liked people who were hard to like, loved her family when we hard to love, and, for a woman as small as she was, has left a deep impression on those who were blessed to get to know her.
Trying to imagine life without you feels impossible right now, but there is a thought that comforts me when the feeling gets overwhelming. I picture you in Heaven, in front of a group of children, singing songs and smiling.
I love you more than words can express and it’s good to know that you’re home safe-Jake
Kids loved her! As a music teacher, she impacted thousands of children. I grew used to having someone I’d never even seen before approach my mom and tell her how positively she had impacted their or their children’s lives. She was a truly selfless servant to others.
Mom loved music, and had a tremendous gift for it. She felt uncomfortable with attention, preferring to be behind the piano accompanying others. She sang often and it was infectious in our household. I loved singing with her. Growing up, my sisters and I would stand around her at the piano singing hymns or praise and worship songs, singing while she played and harmonized. She could blend with anyone, and was as giving a singer as she was a human being.
She was a loving wife and grandaughter, sister and cousin, daughter and friend, and a truly outstanding mother.
I feel humbled and gracious that I got to be this beautiful, amazing person’s son. This kind, gentle, patient woman, who has profoundly impacted so many lives, is my mother. Knowing her was a privilege. Whether a co-teacher, a student, or a stranger at the gas station, my mom treated you like a friend, as she was to so many. She liked people who were hard to like, loved her family when we hard to love, and, for a woman as small as she was, has left a deep impression on those who were blessed to get to know her.
Trying to imagine life without you feels impossible right now, but there is a thought that comforts me when the feeling gets overwhelming. I picture you in Heaven, in front of a group of children, singing songs and smiling.
I love you more than words can express and it’s good to know that you’re home safe-Jake
Sunday, November 22, 2009
We have been surrounded by family & friends for the past few days - telling stories, singing songs, looking through pictures, praying with one another, hugging, crying, laughing... I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your love & prayers too. Well, our Julie is in heaven today hearing God's stories, singing at the top of her new lungs, reviewing the pictures of all of us in her mind, talking face to face with the Lord, hugging God's heavenly family, having her tears wiped away by Jesus himself and experiencing the full and complete joy of eternal life. But we are missing her very much and we are going to have to hold one another up as we have to face a life without her. So, we will need to talk to the Lord a little more often and let his words sink in a little deeper so we can love on one another a little more like Julie did. Love, Greg
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Betsy & her boys are here to liven up the place. The boys have been playing with our outdated toys (sometimes wanting what the other guy has), hanging out with their cousins, and watching the movie "UP" over and over again. Emily & Betsy have been working together this morning to organize our pantry and storage goods in the kitchen (if that doesn't say "love" I don't know what does).
Jake came over this afternoon to have Betsy teach him a couple of pointers on the violin, because he's taking a "Strings" class at EWU. He'll be leaving to visit Hillary in NY for a few days. He got a killer deal for less than 200 bucks.
The nurse & social worker from Hospice gave Julie a uber pill box that has a slot for morning, afternoon, evening & bedtime for each day and they not only filled it up for us but they'll do it each week. It's way better than the hodge-podge method I was using.
Julie's been resting, eating a little, and has been a gracious host to all of her visitors. She is so touched when I read her her blog messages and cards from family & friends. Its great having Julie front & center in the living room so she can be part of all the action. She makes me feel macho by letting me carry her to and from the bathroom upstairs. We have so many little routines. Whenever I leave or come home we kiss three times on the lips and I give her a peck on the cheek & neck for extra credit. I lay out and hand full of clothes in the morning for her to choose from and I help her shower & get dressed for the day. She appreciates everything I do, even the little stuff. She's the best thanker I know.
Thank you for your love & prayers! Greg
Jake came over this afternoon to have Betsy teach him a couple of pointers on the violin, because he's taking a "Strings" class at EWU. He'll be leaving to visit Hillary in NY for a few days. He got a killer deal for less than 200 bucks.
The nurse & social worker from Hospice gave Julie a uber pill box that has a slot for morning, afternoon, evening & bedtime for each day and they not only filled it up for us but they'll do it each week. It's way better than the hodge-podge method I was using.
Julie's been resting, eating a little, and has been a gracious host to all of her visitors. She is so touched when I read her her blog messages and cards from family & friends. Its great having Julie front & center in the living room so she can be part of all the action. She makes me feel macho by letting me carry her to and from the bathroom upstairs. We have so many little routines. Whenever I leave or come home we kiss three times on the lips and I give her a peck on the cheek & neck for extra credit. I lay out and hand full of clothes in the morning for her to choose from and I help her shower & get dressed for the day. She appreciates everything I do, even the little stuff. She's the best thanker I know.
Thank you for your love & prayers! Greg
Sunday, November 15, 2009
We've been enjoying visits from family & friends. Not only are Julie's folks still here, but Julie's brother Darrel (& Kathy), her cousin Cheryl (& Dan) came up from Oregon and our son Jake came over from EWU. Julie had them to sing songs from back in the day and it was wonderful. We also got to hear an acappella song on the computer that Jake wrote. And one of our kids friends, Brad, played the piano and sang a few more songs. So, it's been sort of a little music festival type of day.
Julie's mom, Gloria, and our daughter, Emily, have been sorting through hundreds of family photos to select the ones that will be used for Julie's memorial service. Teri, one of Julie's teacher friends, helped write the first draft of her obituary (at Julie's request). These have been sort of bitter-sweet tasks, but we're walking it through together.
We have had a variety of friends drop by, call, e-mail, blog & text us. We are so blessed to be loved by so many. Our daughter, Betsy (& her boys) are coming tomorrow to spend a few days and I can't wait to squeeze those little guys and get a massage from Betsy.
We have several other family members coming to visit in the next while. So, not only have we had to borrow more beds, but our next door neighbor, Susan, has offered to put people up in her home - how cool is that? Julie's brother, Tim (& family), her sisters, Liz, Carolyn & Janice, my brother Randy (& Patty) are coming next weekend. Her brother, Jerry, will come next week to record our kids singing songs they use to sing as kids. It's a good thing we love all these guys or this could be a nightmare.
Again, thank you for your love & prayers! Greg
Julie's mom, Gloria, and our daughter, Emily, have been sorting through hundreds of family photos to select the ones that will be used for Julie's memorial service. Teri, one of Julie's teacher friends, helped write the first draft of her obituary (at Julie's request). These have been sort of bitter-sweet tasks, but we're walking it through together.
We have had a variety of friends drop by, call, e-mail, blog & text us. We are so blessed to be loved by so many. Our daughter, Betsy (& her boys) are coming tomorrow to spend a few days and I can't wait to squeeze those little guys and get a massage from Betsy.
We have several other family members coming to visit in the next while. So, not only have we had to borrow more beds, but our next door neighbor, Susan, has offered to put people up in her home - how cool is that? Julie's brother, Tim (& family), her sisters, Liz, Carolyn & Janice, my brother Randy (& Patty) are coming next weekend. Her brother, Jerry, will come next week to record our kids singing songs they use to sing as kids. It's a good thing we love all these guys or this could be a nightmare.
Again, thank you for your love & prayers! Greg
Thursday, November 12, 2009
We love having Julie's parents here visiting with us. Gloria has been cooking up some great meals and Ron's always so easy to talk with about anything. It has also been great timing because they were able to go to Julie's doctor's appointment with us. Her doctor told her that there are a couple of options: she can either have chemo, which will make her even weaker than she is now; or to involve Hospice. Well, Julie has chosen Hospice. With the impact of that news, we held on to each other, cried and prayed together. We've known her nurses for the past 1 1/2 years and they have become pretty close to Julie, so it turned into a tearful hug fest. Julie told us that she is really okay with the thought of dying, because she knows she is going to heaven, but she is very concerned for our kids. But I reminded her that the Lord will give us the strength to support one another through this so she doesn't have to carry the load of making sure we're okay.
We spent to evening calling family and friends to begin to lean on one another. But I think Julie sensed that we needed some levity so she told Emily & I that she can do anything she wants now. So, I asked her if she wanted to start smoking and she said she'd like to get drunk too. It felt great to laugh in the middle of some pretty heavy stuff.
Our pastor called to talk with Julie and he told her that she wouldn't have to pray in heaven, because she could talk directly to the Lord. We'd already been talking about how wonderful heaven will be. Not only was Jesus a carpenter, but he created the world too. So he's got to be preparing a pretty awesome place for us. I can imagine one of the first things Julie will do when she gets there is to gather a group of kids together to sing some songs to Jesus.
Please feel free to call, e-mail, blog, send a card, or come by and visit Julie. Please pray that we all draw close to the Lord for strength to encourage Julie and one another. Thank you for your love & faithfulness! Greg
We spent to evening calling family and friends to begin to lean on one another. But I think Julie sensed that we needed some levity so she told Emily & I that she can do anything she wants now. So, I asked her if she wanted to start smoking and she said she'd like to get drunk too. It felt great to laugh in the middle of some pretty heavy stuff.
Our pastor called to talk with Julie and he told her that she wouldn't have to pray in heaven, because she could talk directly to the Lord. We'd already been talking about how wonderful heaven will be. Not only was Jesus a carpenter, but he created the world too. So he's got to be preparing a pretty awesome place for us. I can imagine one of the first things Julie will do when she gets there is to gather a group of kids together to sing some songs to Jesus.
Please feel free to call, e-mail, blog, send a card, or come by and visit Julie. Please pray that we all draw close to the Lord for strength to encourage Julie and one another. Thank you for your love & faithfulness! Greg
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Julie asked me to give you an update. Since we have come back home from Seattle Julie has struggled to bounce back. She has been coughing up some pretty gross stuff and she has lost her much of her appetite. I finally called Julie's oncology nurse and she said to take Julie to the ER. When we got to the hospital we ran into a hand full of mothers of students Julie has taught through the years. One of the mom's, Jenny, was her nurse and she took great care of Julie. After running a few tests they diagnosed Julie with bacterial pneumonia. So they gave her and an IV and antibiotics and sent her home.
I've been getting on Julie about eating something she said that if her mom was here she would eat. So, her mom & dad agreed to come to try and fatten her up on some good old fashion home cooking.
Thank you for being so faithful to pray for Julie! We love you very much. Greg
I've been getting on Julie about eating something she said that if her mom was here she would eat. So, her mom & dad agreed to come to try and fatten her up on some good old fashion home cooking.
Thank you for being so faithful to pray for Julie! We love you very much. Greg
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Seattle #2
Things were better in many ways this time. We stayed in a really nice hotel downtown and Jake let us borrow his GPS again and he even got it all pre-set for us so we only got lost once!
I had a chest x-ray and met with the doctor and he told me that he thought it would really help me to have a stent. It was so weird seeing the x-ray because the left looked empty and my right lung is growing to try to compensate. I thought that was pretty amazing.
We were able to connect with Betsy this time. Even though I just love those little boys I thought it would be better for Betsy to come without Sebastian and Julian. They would get so bored in the hotel room. So Wednesday evening Greg and Betsy and I went out to a very nice dinner. Betsy spoiled us with massage and we had a really nice visit.
Thursday morning I had to be at the medical center at 8:00 to have a test on my heart. At 9:00 we went down to the surgery check-in and since I hadn't been prescheduled they told me I was on stand-by. They would get to me eventually but they would be working me in to the surgery schedule. So we prepared for a long day of killing time and I had two good magazines and a fun book. They gave us a pager so we could wander around the hospital. So off we went, me in my little scooter trying not to run into people, and Greg walking beside me. We had't gone ten minutes and the pager went off. So we hurried back and sure enough they wanted me!
This time Dr. Wood did some coring out plus he put in two stents. After the surgery I was in a recovery area and I had the nicest nurse in the world. She was so kind and attentive. Finally by 4:00 they felt I was ready to be discharged so we went back to the hotel and I got in bed till the next morning. A much more restful sleep than if I'd been in the hospital.
Friday we took it slow in the morning and left about 11:00 so we got back to Coeur d' Alene pretty early. Glad to be home.
I don't feel too bady, but I will have to cough up this yukky stuff. It's just so gross.
I'm hoping Janice will be able to come another time. It was so weird how I didn't want to go to Seattle partly because I didn't want to miss her visit. She decided to come even though we were in Seallte and just wait here at the house till we got back. But then she woke up Wednesday with a fever and couldn't come anyway. So strange how things work out sometimes.
Thank you for your love and prayers. Please know that I feel blessed to know so many people are sharing this journey with me. I never feel alone. Love, Julie
I had a chest x-ray and met with the doctor and he told me that he thought it would really help me to have a stent. It was so weird seeing the x-ray because the left looked empty and my right lung is growing to try to compensate. I thought that was pretty amazing.
We were able to connect with Betsy this time. Even though I just love those little boys I thought it would be better for Betsy to come without Sebastian and Julian. They would get so bored in the hotel room. So Wednesday evening Greg and Betsy and I went out to a very nice dinner. Betsy spoiled us with massage and we had a really nice visit.
Thursday morning I had to be at the medical center at 8:00 to have a test on my heart. At 9:00 we went down to the surgery check-in and since I hadn't been prescheduled they told me I was on stand-by. They would get to me eventually but they would be working me in to the surgery schedule. So we prepared for a long day of killing time and I had two good magazines and a fun book. They gave us a pager so we could wander around the hospital. So off we went, me in my little scooter trying not to run into people, and Greg walking beside me. We had't gone ten minutes and the pager went off. So we hurried back and sure enough they wanted me!
This time Dr. Wood did some coring out plus he put in two stents. After the surgery I was in a recovery area and I had the nicest nurse in the world. She was so kind and attentive. Finally by 4:00 they felt I was ready to be discharged so we went back to the hotel and I got in bed till the next morning. A much more restful sleep than if I'd been in the hospital.
Friday we took it slow in the morning and left about 11:00 so we got back to Coeur d' Alene pretty early. Glad to be home.
I don't feel too bady, but I will have to cough up this yukky stuff. It's just so gross.
I'm hoping Janice will be able to come another time. It was so weird how I didn't want to go to Seattle partly because I didn't want to miss her visit. She decided to come even though we were in Seallte and just wait here at the house till we got back. But then she woke up Wednesday with a fever and couldn't come anyway. So strange how things work out sometimes.
Thank you for your love and prayers. Please know that I feel blessed to know so many people are sharing this journey with me. I never feel alone. Love, Julie
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Back to Seatttle
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
I had a CAT scan yesterday and it showed that my left lung is collapsed again. No wonder breathing has been so hard and even simple things are so exhausting. We're heading back to Seattle tomorrow morning to meet with Dr. Wood and he'll probably put a stent in this time.
I was so bummed about the timing of going to Seattle because Janice is coming to tomorrow--the same day as I need to be in Seattle. She's traveling with a family that is heading for Oregon for the weekend and they'll drop her off here and then pick her up when they are on their way back to Billings. We talked to her last night and she's willing to come and just stay at our house till we return from Seattle. But this morning Greg got a crazy idea--we're going to try to fly her from Spokane to Seattle so she can spend the time with us and then drive back with us. I hope it works out but even if it doesn't, it will really be great to look forward to seeing her at my house when we return.
Even though I'm battling feeling discouraged right now, so many great things have been happening. My friend Lana's church gave me a prayer shawl and many people had prayed for me. It is a reminder to me that people are praying and I'm taking the shawl to Seattle. My friend, Julie Powell, came to my house Sunday night and she prepared a spaghetti squash from her garden and we ate it together! It was delicious. Yesterday my friend Sherma came and brought Panda Express for us to eat and we had a really nice visit. On the weekend,my friend Debbie made us some wonderful chicken noodle soup and Lana brought some tasty meatloaf. So the Johnsons are not starving. It's so sweet of people to bring food to us!
I'm also so blessed to have Jake living close enough so that he can come often to visit. He is good at going to the grocery store and he's always so willing to run errands. He's a keeper.
We're working out a very exciting plan with Emily that would allow her the chance to be our sort of "home care provider". Details are being worked out with her current job but everyone is very supportive. I'm so excited about this plan!
We're hoping to connect with Betsy when we're in Seattle. Last time didn't work out. I'm so excited to see her.
I have so many things to be thankful for and it really helps to think about them when I start to feel discouraged. God has blessed me with a wonderful family and so many amazing friends. Words can't express how much I appreciate your love and concern for me and my family. Your prayers are the greatest gift of all. Love, Julie
I had a CAT scan yesterday and it showed that my left lung is collapsed again. No wonder breathing has been so hard and even simple things are so exhausting. We're heading back to Seattle tomorrow morning to meet with Dr. Wood and he'll probably put a stent in this time.
I was so bummed about the timing of going to Seattle because Janice is coming to tomorrow--the same day as I need to be in Seattle. She's traveling with a family that is heading for Oregon for the weekend and they'll drop her off here and then pick her up when they are on their way back to Billings. We talked to her last night and she's willing to come and just stay at our house till we return from Seattle. But this morning Greg got a crazy idea--we're going to try to fly her from Spokane to Seattle so she can spend the time with us and then drive back with us. I hope it works out but even if it doesn't, it will really be great to look forward to seeing her at my house when we return.
Even though I'm battling feeling discouraged right now, so many great things have been happening. My friend Lana's church gave me a prayer shawl and many people had prayed for me. It is a reminder to me that people are praying and I'm taking the shawl to Seattle. My friend, Julie Powell, came to my house Sunday night and she prepared a spaghetti squash from her garden and we ate it together! It was delicious. Yesterday my friend Sherma came and brought Panda Express for us to eat and we had a really nice visit. On the weekend,my friend Debbie made us some wonderful chicken noodle soup and Lana brought some tasty meatloaf. So the Johnsons are not starving. It's so sweet of people to bring food to us!
I'm also so blessed to have Jake living close enough so that he can come often to visit. He is good at going to the grocery store and he's always so willing to run errands. He's a keeper.
We're working out a very exciting plan with Emily that would allow her the chance to be our sort of "home care provider". Details are being worked out with her current job but everyone is very supportive. I'm so excited about this plan!
We're hoping to connect with Betsy when we're in Seattle. Last time didn't work out. I'm so excited to see her.
I have so many things to be thankful for and it really helps to think about them when I start to feel discouraged. God has blessed me with a wonderful family and so many amazing friends. Words can't express how much I appreciate your love and concern for me and my family. Your prayers are the greatest gift of all. Love, Julie
Friday, October 30, 2009
The Whole Story
First I need to thank Greg for the delicate way he put things into words. He's definitely a keeper. But I'm going to swallow my pride and tell you about what's been happening (and not happening...)
It all started about five weeks ago, a week before our Seattle trip, and I was really gasping for breath in Dr. Tezcan's office. It was expained to me that if I took a pain pill every few hours it would help my airways relax and could help me not feel so frantic about breathing. They warned me that these pain pills cause constipation. So I was warned. But I thought to myself, "Well that might be a problem for some people, but not for me."
And everything was fine for several weeks! I enjoyed the way the pain pill relaxed my airways. Then last week I started to have the problems I was warned about. And Saturday morning at 4:00 a.m. I woke up with excruciating pain below my right ribcage. So I took some painpills and went back to bed. Greg called the doctor who was on call in the oncology ward and asked about controlling this pain. Unfortunately there was no discussion about what was causing the pain. And at this time, it honestly never occurred to us that this pain could be caused by constipation. It was so severe, we were thinking it was my liver being weird or something. I spent all of Saturday and Sunday in my bed with a heating pad and living for the four-hour span between doses of pain pills. And I was so loopy that I couldn't enjoy visiting with my family or anything.
Finally Monday morning we went to the ER and it seemed like they were able to diagnose my problem lickety-split. I was embarrassed and they reassured me that it was common for cancer patients to have this problem because of all the chemicals and drugs. I went home with something disgusting to drink that was guaranteed to get things going.
But thank goodness for my nurse friend, Nancy DeAustin. She's the one who really came to my rescue. She brought a wonerful dinner for us for Monday night and she gave me a recipe for an enema with molasses and whole milk that she said I could try if the guaranteed disgusting stuff I drank didn't kick in. She has been an ER nurse for years and she told me they use it in the hospital.
So here's an example of true love. Greg giving me that enema. And it worked! So I'm feeling like myself again and I won't be taking any pain pills for a long time. And my breathing has been great.
God has been teaching me about pride lately. It's amazing how He's able to use situations in our lives to bring us closer to Him. I am so grateful for your prayers. Love, Julie
It all started about five weeks ago, a week before our Seattle trip, and I was really gasping for breath in Dr. Tezcan's office. It was expained to me that if I took a pain pill every few hours it would help my airways relax and could help me not feel so frantic about breathing. They warned me that these pain pills cause constipation. So I was warned. But I thought to myself, "Well that might be a problem for some people, but not for me."
And everything was fine for several weeks! I enjoyed the way the pain pill relaxed my airways. Then last week I started to have the problems I was warned about. And Saturday morning at 4:00 a.m. I woke up with excruciating pain below my right ribcage. So I took some painpills and went back to bed. Greg called the doctor who was on call in the oncology ward and asked about controlling this pain. Unfortunately there was no discussion about what was causing the pain. And at this time, it honestly never occurred to us that this pain could be caused by constipation. It was so severe, we were thinking it was my liver being weird or something. I spent all of Saturday and Sunday in my bed with a heating pad and living for the four-hour span between doses of pain pills. And I was so loopy that I couldn't enjoy visiting with my family or anything.
Finally Monday morning we went to the ER and it seemed like they were able to diagnose my problem lickety-split. I was embarrassed and they reassured me that it was common for cancer patients to have this problem because of all the chemicals and drugs. I went home with something disgusting to drink that was guaranteed to get things going.
But thank goodness for my nurse friend, Nancy DeAustin. She's the one who really came to my rescue. She brought a wonerful dinner for us for Monday night and she gave me a recipe for an enema with molasses and whole milk that she said I could try if the guaranteed disgusting stuff I drank didn't kick in. She has been an ER nurse for years and she told me they use it in the hospital.
So here's an example of true love. Greg giving me that enema. And it worked! So I'm feeling like myself again and I won't be taking any pain pills for a long time. And my breathing has been great.
God has been teaching me about pride lately. It's amazing how He's able to use situations in our lives to bring us closer to Him. I am so grateful for your prayers. Love, Julie
Monday, October 26, 2009
Good News
Good News:
We made a trip to the hospital today. Julie has been taking a pain medication to help her relax to breath a little easier. Well, we found out that one of the side affects to her pain meds is constipation, which has been causing her pain in her abdomen. They gave her some "liquid dynamite" (so to speak) which will give her a whole knew meaning to the word "relief."
Forgive me for my alarmist message from yesterday, but I know Julie would still love to hear from you.
Your prayers make a huge difference in both of our lives. Thank you!
Greg
We made a trip to the hospital today. Julie has been taking a pain medication to help her relax to breath a little easier. Well, we found out that one of the side affects to her pain meds is constipation, which has been causing her pain in her abdomen. They gave her some "liquid dynamite" (so to speak) which will give her a whole knew meaning to the word "relief."
Forgive me for my alarmist message from yesterday, but I know Julie would still love to hear from you.
Your prayers make a huge difference in both of our lives. Thank you!
Greg
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Please pray for Julie's strength. She is experiencing pain for the first time. The pain may be coming from her liver, but we won't know until we meet with the doctor. In the meantime, she has to take pain medication, which wipes her out and it makes it difficult to visit with others (which is her favorite thing to do).
Julie has received so many encouraging cards, letters, text messages & e-mails over this past year. Many of those messages that have included passages of scripture have touched her deeply. Those verses have been "sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
Please consider sending Julie a note of encouragement and/or a verse from scripture this week, because it is the best kind of medicine she could receive.
I want to thank you on Julie's behalf! Greg
Julie has received so many encouraging cards, letters, text messages & e-mails over this past year. Many of those messages that have included passages of scripture have touched her deeply. Those verses have been "sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
Please consider sending Julie a note of encouragement and/or a verse from scripture this week, because it is the best kind of medicine she could receive.
I want to thank you on Julie's behalf! Greg
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Onward...
We met with Dr. Tezcan this morning and he was pleased that my lung sounded better as a result of my fun time in Seattle. He told us it was our decision about where to go from here and that he does have a plan for treatment. There is only a small chance that it will be helpful, but a chance is a chance! It is also a choice not to seek further treatment. I'm not ready to choose not to have treatment. So I'm already on the schedule for Nov 5! I'll be enjoying the taste of coffee and food for two more weeks then it will be onward with fighting with some kind of chemo again.
Dr. T. also told us that if the creepy tumor in my lung grows into my airway again, Dr. Wood (he did the surgery in Seattle) can do another bronchoscopy and put in a stent. He didn't do it last time because he didn't think it was needed. I'm not excited about that possibility, but I'm breathing really well right now. If I get to the point where I can't breathe again, I'll be more excited to visit Dr. Wood again.
Greg and I had a really fun day yesterday. It started with watching the last part of Jane Eyre. Isn't Greg the best husband ever? After that, we went for a walk around the neighborhood. I was riding my cool red scooter and going so fast Greg could barely keep up! We went to a late lunch at The Olive Garden and then went for a drive enjoying the beautiful fall weather and colors and views of the lake. We feel so lucky to live in such a beautiful place. It's nice that Greg has Mondays off to hang out with me.
I'm thankful that God has a plan for my life and that He knows what's ahead so I don't have to worry about it. I believe God gives me faith, through your prayers, to stay focused on one day at a time. Thank you for continuing to love and care about us. Love, Julie
Dr. T. also told us that if the creepy tumor in my lung grows into my airway again, Dr. Wood (he did the surgery in Seattle) can do another bronchoscopy and put in a stent. He didn't do it last time because he didn't think it was needed. I'm not excited about that possibility, but I'm breathing really well right now. If I get to the point where I can't breathe again, I'll be more excited to visit Dr. Wood again.
Greg and I had a really fun day yesterday. It started with watching the last part of Jane Eyre. Isn't Greg the best husband ever? After that, we went for a walk around the neighborhood. I was riding my cool red scooter and going so fast Greg could barely keep up! We went to a late lunch at The Olive Garden and then went for a drive enjoying the beautiful fall weather and colors and views of the lake. We feel so lucky to live in such a beautiful place. It's nice that Greg has Mondays off to hang out with me.
I'm thankful that God has a plan for my life and that He knows what's ahead so I don't have to worry about it. I believe God gives me faith, through your prayers, to stay focused on one day at a time. Thank you for continuing to love and care about us. Love, Julie
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Happy Birthday, Mom!
It's my Mom's birthday today and I wish I could give her a big hug and tell her thanks for being such an amazing mother. She is the best.
Since getting home from Seattle, it seems like every day there's improvement in my breathing. Hurray! I was hoping it wouldn't be so gradual, but I'm so thankful for the improvement.
This afternoon Jake and his girlfriend, Hilary (she's visiting from New York), the Russells, Greg and Nick's Mom all went to see "Where the Wild Things Are". I was considering going. I know I wouldn't disturb the audience with coughing very often and I feel pretty good. But there are so many people around here who are sick with the flu. I decided being in a crowded theater wasn't the best place for me this afternoon. So I'm sitting in my favorite place on my favorite couch with the Food Channel on. A perfect Saturday afternoon.
My friend, Teri, came to see me this morning and we had such a great visit. She caught me up on what's going on at Fernan. Visits like that really help me feel connected and it means so much to me because I know how busy she is!
Thank you for your prayers. I am so thankful for you. Love, Julie
Since getting home from Seattle, it seems like every day there's improvement in my breathing. Hurray! I was hoping it wouldn't be so gradual, but I'm so thankful for the improvement.
This afternoon Jake and his girlfriend, Hilary (she's visiting from New York), the Russells, Greg and Nick's Mom all went to see "Where the Wild Things Are". I was considering going. I know I wouldn't disturb the audience with coughing very often and I feel pretty good. But there are so many people around here who are sick with the flu. I decided being in a crowded theater wasn't the best place for me this afternoon. So I'm sitting in my favorite place on my favorite couch with the Food Channel on. A perfect Saturday afternoon.
My friend, Teri, came to see me this morning and we had such a great visit. She caught me up on what's going on at Fernan. Visits like that really help me feel connected and it means so much to me because I know how busy she is!
Thank you for your prayers. I am so thankful for you. Love, Julie
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Pretty Good Tuesday
This is a pretty good Tuesday. I had two cups of coffee this morning and my air supply seems to be improving every day! I just have to pace myself going up and down the stairs. No jumping or skipping steps yet.
I'm looking forward to Janice coming to visit me in early November and it's just amazing to me that that is only a couple of weeks from now! I love when my sisters come.
Thank you for your love and prayers. I have appreciated hearing that my last entry wasn't too much of a downer. Last week was a challenging one for Greg and me. And it's over! Love, Julie
I'm looking forward to Janice coming to visit me in early November and it's just amazing to me that that is only a couple of weeks from now! I love when my sisters come.
Thank you for your love and prayers. I have appreciated hearing that my last entry wasn't too much of a downer. Last week was a challenging one for Greg and me. And it's over! Love, Julie
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Home feels good...
We came home from Seattle yesterday afternoon when I was released from the hospital. It feels so good to be home and it was so good to sleep in my own bed last night. I didn't sleep very much Thursday night. It seemed like everytime I got comfortable enough to sleep, I was interrupted by some nice person who wanted my vitals, or to do an x-ray etc. I'm not being critical of the care I received--it was top-notch. I just didn't get to sleep very much.
Our attempts to make our Seattle trip a "nice little vacation" were well-intentioned. But I'm definitly glad that little vacation is overwith. It all started off when we arrived at our "premium" hotel room only to find a very old regular nothing special at all room. It was close to the medical center and it had free parking. Those are the best things I can say about it. So we were a little bummed Tuesday night. I guess we were expecting something more like the Davenport or the CDA Resort.
Wednesday I met with my doctor at 1:30 and we were very impressed with how kind and compassionate he was and he explained everything so well. His nurse met with us to go over some details and she thought my scooter was cool. We had a conversation about "retail therapy" that really made us smile. And I realized I'm not the only one who finds shopping theraputic!
We waited for our appointment with the pre-anesthesia people. More questions we'd already answered. I really enjoyed our dinner that night realizing I wouldn't be able to eat till after my surgery the next day.
Thursday was a day to remember. We arrived at the medical center at 8:30 because we were supposed to arrive two hours before the surgery. Okay fine. But they told me my surgery was delayed because the hospital was doing several heart and lung transplants and there were no rooms open for other surgeries. So finally at 3:45 they called my name! It wasn't fun sitting in the waiting area all that time with no make up or jewelry (my poor Silpada had to stay in my suitcase), and nothing to eat or drink. Off to pre-surgery for more questions that I had already answered several times!!
The surgery itself was really easy and uneventful for me because I was asleep! But the procedure was called a bronchoscopy and Dr. Wood planned to either "core out" or put in a stent. He talked to Greg after the surgery and told him that he decided not to put in the stent because he felt coring out the airway was successful and that putting in a little tube of plastic creates its own set of problems. So he literally removed the junk that was in my airway and it's amazing that already I can feel my left lung working!
After the surgery, I couldn't breathe! They had to give me moist air and they did a chest x-ray. They determined that I should spend the night in the hospital so I could enjoy that moist air and so they could keep their eye on me. It was amazing how much better I was by Friday morning. But I can expect to do a lot of coughing for a couple of days while my lung tries to get rid of a lot of junk. And I can expect not to be so short of breath in a couple of days! I was of course hoping that the results of the surgery would be immediate, but I'm willing to wait a few days.
We were sure hoping to be able to see Betsy and Cam and the boys while we were in Seattle. But it just didn't work out because of our crazy schedule. I told Betsy we were so close yet so far away. Hopefully we'll be able to see them again soon and I'll have enough breath to be able to read to those little guys.
Sorry this entry is so long. I hope I didn't sound too negative. But I know you want to know what's really going on so I decided to not sugar coat anything. I am so appreciative of your prayers and your encouragement. I know God was right with me the whole time and His presence was a comfort to me. Mom, I really appreciated the verse you sent me about angels having charge over us! It was so encouraging! Love, Julie
Our attempts to make our Seattle trip a "nice little vacation" were well-intentioned. But I'm definitly glad that little vacation is overwith. It all started off when we arrived at our "premium" hotel room only to find a very old regular nothing special at all room. It was close to the medical center and it had free parking. Those are the best things I can say about it. So we were a little bummed Tuesday night. I guess we were expecting something more like the Davenport or the CDA Resort.
Wednesday I met with my doctor at 1:30 and we were very impressed with how kind and compassionate he was and he explained everything so well. His nurse met with us to go over some details and she thought my scooter was cool. We had a conversation about "retail therapy" that really made us smile. And I realized I'm not the only one who finds shopping theraputic!
We waited for our appointment with the pre-anesthesia people. More questions we'd already answered. I really enjoyed our dinner that night realizing I wouldn't be able to eat till after my surgery the next day.
Thursday was a day to remember. We arrived at the medical center at 8:30 because we were supposed to arrive two hours before the surgery. Okay fine. But they told me my surgery was delayed because the hospital was doing several heart and lung transplants and there were no rooms open for other surgeries. So finally at 3:45 they called my name! It wasn't fun sitting in the waiting area all that time with no make up or jewelry (my poor Silpada had to stay in my suitcase), and nothing to eat or drink. Off to pre-surgery for more questions that I had already answered several times!!
The surgery itself was really easy and uneventful for me because I was asleep! But the procedure was called a bronchoscopy and Dr. Wood planned to either "core out" or put in a stent. He talked to Greg after the surgery and told him that he decided not to put in the stent because he felt coring out the airway was successful and that putting in a little tube of plastic creates its own set of problems. So he literally removed the junk that was in my airway and it's amazing that already I can feel my left lung working!
After the surgery, I couldn't breathe! They had to give me moist air and they did a chest x-ray. They determined that I should spend the night in the hospital so I could enjoy that moist air and so they could keep their eye on me. It was amazing how much better I was by Friday morning. But I can expect to do a lot of coughing for a couple of days while my lung tries to get rid of a lot of junk. And I can expect not to be so short of breath in a couple of days! I was of course hoping that the results of the surgery would be immediate, but I'm willing to wait a few days.
We were sure hoping to be able to see Betsy and Cam and the boys while we were in Seattle. But it just didn't work out because of our crazy schedule. I told Betsy we were so close yet so far away. Hopefully we'll be able to see them again soon and I'll have enough breath to be able to read to those little guys.
Sorry this entry is so long. I hope I didn't sound too negative. But I know you want to know what's really going on so I decided to not sugar coat anything. I am so appreciative of your prayers and your encouragement. I know God was right with me the whole time and His presence was a comfort to me. Mom, I really appreciated the verse you sent me about angels having charge over us! It was so encouraging! Love, Julie
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The doc was able to roto-rooter much of the obstruction out of the passage way in Julie's collapsed lung so he didn't need to use a stint. So, Julie should be breathing easier in the next few days. PTL
Julie had to spend the night at the UW med center so they could keep an eye on her - just to be on the safe side. She was such a trooper. She had to go 24 hours without anything to eat or drink. There were a series of transplants that came up and she had to be bumped to the end of the day (understandably).
Thank you for caring & praying! Greg
Julie had to spend the night at the UW med center so they could keep an eye on her - just to be on the safe side. She was such a trooper. She had to go 24 hours without anything to eat or drink. There were a series of transplants that came up and she had to be bumped to the end of the day (understandably).
Thank you for caring & praying! Greg
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Go Go Ultra X
I am now the proud owner of a Go Go Ultra X Travel Scooter! Jake came and spent some time with us this weekend--Betsy's boys adore him--anyway, Jake and Greg went to pick up a few groceries and when they got home they had something besides food with them! A very cool red scooter! Now I don't have to rely on whether or not a store has an available scooter for me to use. I have my own! Greg and I went to the mall this afternoon and I was able to go to several different stores. It was so amazingly thoughtful of Greg to get it for me. Now we can go for "walks" around the neighborhood together!
It is very quiet in our house now. Betsy and the boys left for Tacoma late this morning. We had a wonderful week and it just went too fast. We enjoyed them so much. I was pretty much confined to my favorite corner of my favorite couch, but I loved watching them play. I'm sure going to miss Betsy but we're hoping to see them Tuesday at their house. It will be Julian's 2nd birthday that day and we're planning to go to Seattle Tuesday. So hopefully it will work out.
We've decided to think of our time in Seattle this week as a mini-vacation. It will be so great that I can be mobile because of my cool scooter!
Thank you so much for your love and prayers. I have a really sore throat right now as a result of the radiation. I'm hoping it will heal quickly. Thanks again for continuing to pray for us. Love, Julie
It is very quiet in our house now. Betsy and the boys left for Tacoma late this morning. We had a wonderful week and it just went too fast. We enjoyed them so much. I was pretty much confined to my favorite corner of my favorite couch, but I loved watching them play. I'm sure going to miss Betsy but we're hoping to see them Tuesday at their house. It will be Julian's 2nd birthday that day and we're planning to go to Seattle Tuesday. So hopefully it will work out.
We've decided to think of our time in Seattle this week as a mini-vacation. It will be so great that I can be mobile because of my cool scooter!
Thank you so much for your love and prayers. I have a really sore throat right now as a result of the radiation. I'm hoping it will heal quickly. Thanks again for continuing to pray for us. Love, Julie
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
The Adventure Continues...
What I mean by "adventure" is that my life is so full of surprises. I wish all the surprises were happy good ones like birthday presents. But I know God allows difficult things in our lives so we can grow. I have another chance to grow.
Today my friend, Debbie, took care of Matthew, Sebastian and Julian so both Emily and Betsy could go to my appointment with Dr. Tezcan. My Greg was with me too of course. It was so sweet because Betsy sat on one side of me and Emily on the other. And just before the doctor came in the room, Jake called and it felt like our whole family was in that room. Anyway, the CAT scan showed that the chemo kept the cancer in my liver stable, but my entire left lung is completely collapsed because the cancer in my lung didn't respond to the chemo. That explains why I'm so short of breath these days! The chemo was not effective in preventing cancer from growing like crazy in my thyroid. Dr. T. told us that he looked carefully at the list of chemo drugs I have received and he said he's run out of options as far as chemo drugs.
The radiation is supposed to shrink the tumor in my thyroid so I can swallow better. My main concern at this point is to not be so short of breath. Dr. Tezcan told me that there is a procedure where a stint is placed in the area allowing for more air. I don't understand this at all but I'm certainly willing to give it a try so I can enjoy more than the view from my couch. They don't do this procedure in CDA or Spokane. Dr. Tezcan called a doctor in Seattle and I will have an appointment with him Wednesday and if I'm a candidate for the stint, he will put it in place in my chest on Thursday! Wow!
After that, we will probably take some time off from treatments and enjoy life for awhile. It will be so great to live without the side effects of chemo and radiation especially if I can breathe and swallow easily! Then when I'm ready, Dr. T. has an idea for further treatment. He's amazing.
I hope this hasn't been too confusing. I appreciate your prayers and your words of encouragement. Please pray that I will be able to get the stint and that the whole process will go smoothly. Thank you so much for caring about us. Love, Julie
Today my friend, Debbie, took care of Matthew, Sebastian and Julian so both Emily and Betsy could go to my appointment with Dr. Tezcan. My Greg was with me too of course. It was so sweet because Betsy sat on one side of me and Emily on the other. And just before the doctor came in the room, Jake called and it felt like our whole family was in that room. Anyway, the CAT scan showed that the chemo kept the cancer in my liver stable, but my entire left lung is completely collapsed because the cancer in my lung didn't respond to the chemo. That explains why I'm so short of breath these days! The chemo was not effective in preventing cancer from growing like crazy in my thyroid. Dr. T. told us that he looked carefully at the list of chemo drugs I have received and he said he's run out of options as far as chemo drugs.
The radiation is supposed to shrink the tumor in my thyroid so I can swallow better. My main concern at this point is to not be so short of breath. Dr. Tezcan told me that there is a procedure where a stint is placed in the area allowing for more air. I don't understand this at all but I'm certainly willing to give it a try so I can enjoy more than the view from my couch. They don't do this procedure in CDA or Spokane. Dr. Tezcan called a doctor in Seattle and I will have an appointment with him Wednesday and if I'm a candidate for the stint, he will put it in place in my chest on Thursday! Wow!
After that, we will probably take some time off from treatments and enjoy life for awhile. It will be so great to live without the side effects of chemo and radiation especially if I can breathe and swallow easily! Then when I'm ready, Dr. T. has an idea for further treatment. He's amazing.
I hope this hasn't been too confusing. I appreciate your prayers and your words of encouragement. Please pray that I will be able to get the stint and that the whole process will go smoothly. Thank you so much for caring about us. Love, Julie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
