Jerry Almost Came

I forgot to mention that my brother Jerrywaited in the airport in Boise for his flight to bring him here Monday the 29th. He called a couple of times to say it was delayed and finally it was cancelled due to hazardous conditions at the Spokane airport. Boo. Boy was that a disapointment! I was really looking forward to listening to Jake and Jerry do music together and I know Jerry would have cooked up something amazing for us to eat. He's quite the chef. At this point he's rescheduled his trip for Jan. 16! So I'm looking forward to that!

Love, Julie

I'm back!

Sorry to take such a long break from blogging! I do appreciate all of you and I'm so thankful that so many people care about us and, most important, are praying for us.

PHYSICAL STUFF:
*Okay, so the blood clots are dissolving! I can walk around and I can wear my jeans. Hurray!
*However, over the past three weeks I've developed those old symptons of wheezing, shortness of breath, and coughing. My doctor put me on massive doses of steroids and antibiotics and he told me to stop taking Tarceva because, in rare cases, it can cause those symptoms. The symptoms continued. So I had a CT scan Friday, Dec. 24 and I have an appointment with my doctor on Jan. 5 and we'll talk about the results of the scan.

FAMILY:
As Greg said, all of our children and grandchildren were here for Christmas and it was wonderful. Not quiet, but wonderful. We are so thankful that Betsy and the boys made it here safely inspite of terrible road conditions. Cam flew in the 23rd. Jake's been here and he's such an energy spark-plug. He's the one who got the Guitar Hero game for Emily's family and it was such fun to watch everyone perform! Nick has had to work 5:30 pm to 5:30 am shifts doing snow removal in Spokane for several weeks now and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight at this point. He even had to work Christmas night. But Emily and the kids have been able to spend lots of evenings with us. Last night we went to her house for dinner and it was great! I realized I hadn't been there for such a long time! I've been pretty much house-bound since Thanksgiving.

I'm so thankful for Greg and my family and friends. I hope you are all enjoying this last day of 2008 and I pray that 2009 will be a great year for all of us! Love, Julie

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

We had all of our kids & grand kids over for Christmas and it was great fun. We all took turns becoming rock stars with a new game called Guitar Hero, got treated to an awesome Christmas feast, shoveled a few feet of snow, had some wonderful late night heart-to-heart talks, cranked the grand kids up on an overdose of sweets & an overload of toys & produced a ton of garbage. It was kind of funny to watch the kids want to play with what someone else got. There was even a moment when they were so overwhelmed that they resorted to playing with the magnets on the refrigerator. Kids are just weird! The grand kids were especially good medicine for Julie. She enjoyed a week with them reading stories, snuggling & lots of spoiling. What a great way to celebrate Jesus birthday.

Julie's doctor is continuing to adjust & readjust his game plan in treating her. When one medication doesn't seem to work, he'll try something else. We'll find out next week the results of the latest cat scan to find out what's causing her to struggle with a chronic cough. He may refer her to a specialist who works with lungs.

Thank the Lord that her blood clots are more under control so she's able to get up and around a little bit. Julie's been listening to some of her favorite classical music and it helps her to relax and it seems to quite down her coughing. I also notice that after she spends some time doing her homework for her weekly Bible study with her friends, she really appears lifted up.

Thank you for your loving concern & prayers! Greg

Betsy made it!

Betsy drove from Seattle to Coeur d' Alene with Sebastian and Julian yesterday! She had a few scary times but the boys were great travelers. A trip that usually takes six hours at the most took her ten--but she made it! Thanks for your prayers.

Emily and her kids came over this morning and we all had a wonderful day. The cousins love to play together and it's just so special to have them all here. Emily's family left at about 8:00 so we had a good full day together. Nick has been putting in 12-hour shifts driving a snow plow for the city of Spokane the past few nights. So he didn't mind having a quiet house to sleep in today. He came to visit for a couple of hours this afternoon before going to work.

We're looking forward to seeing Jake tomorrow night. We pray that his flight from Nashville will not be delayed because of bad weather.

I'm feeling pretty good, but Emily and Betsy took care of everything around the house today.

Thanks for your prayers. Love, Julie

White Christmas...

No doubt about it, we will be having a very white Christmas this year. The last time Greg measured the snow on our poor little picnic table, there were 31 inches. It's supposed to be very cold for the next week with even more snow storms. All the schools in the area had a snow day and Greg even had a snow day! It was fun enjoying a quiet day together.

The biggest bummer is that Betsy and Sebastian and Julian were planning to drive from Seattle today, but the weather and the roads were just too treacherous. We are praying that they will be able to come tomorrow. Cam is flying in Tuesday. And Jake is coming from Nashville Sunday night! At least, those are our plans...

I am feeling much better and am able to walk around and to stand for longer periods of time. And the swelling has gone down so much that yesterday I was able to get my jeans on for the first time since Thanksgiving!!!

Today I was reading Psalm 121 and I realized I could say it from memory. It's so amazing how God used those verses to speak to me in a special way today! And I memorized them when I was about 10 years old! "My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth..."

God bless you and thank you for praying for us. Love, Julie

Happy Greetings, Everyone!

It's a bright and beautiful sunny Monday ! But it sure is cold outside! This kind of day reminds me of when our children were really little and in the dead of winter, if it was sunny outside, they always asked if I could get out their little swimming pool. I'd say "No, not today, it's way too cold outside!" They couldn't understand why, if it was sunny, they couldn't go swimming.

I'm so thankful that the swelling in my leg is finally going down. It has been a real challenge to try to stay positive when I've been stuck to the couch or my bed. Your prayers, visits, and phone calls have been very encouraging to me. Please know that I love hearing from you! I love hearing about your families and lives. Don't ever hesitate to call!

And people have been so generous in bringing meals! And it was amazingly uplifting to have our friends, Debbie and Stan, clean our house on Friday! You are all so appreciated! Before my latest blood clot incident, I was able to live so normally that I almost forgot about the cancer! Greg and I have once again been so humbled by everyone's thoughtfulness and generosity.

We are looking forward to all of our children and grandchildren being here for Christmas. Emily and Betsy are already planning to take over in the kitchen and it will be fun to be their assistant instead of being in charge of everything myself.

Greg has been so supportive and helpful these past weeks especially and I just have to tell you something that demonstrated his love. He watched all of "Sense and Sensibility" with me last week! The whole 2 1/2 hour movie! He only went to sleep once.

I'm so glad to start feeling like myself again and to be able to walk around the house a little bit now. We sure take a lot for granted, don't we? Hope you're having a wonderful week. Thank you so very much for your continued prayers. Love, Julie

Snow's-a-come'n

Julie's still laying kind of low, mostly in the bed or on the couch, because of those painful clots in her swollen leg. But she has weaned herself off of the pain medication and her appetite is starting to come back. Our friends have been so generous in bringing over meals each week and they bring over enough to feed the whole neighborhood. We want to fatten Julie up, but I seem to be gaining all the weight.

I have a new appreciation for all that Julie does around the house. Between the cleaning, dishes, laundry, shopping and repeating the cycle over & over again, there doesn't seem to be as much couch-time. To think she's been doing this all along on top of teaching. Boy, am I glad to be a lazy boy.

One of the highlights for Julie each week is having a couple of her friends over for a Bible study on prayer. Annette & Debby even stuck around today to give our dumb dog a bath and clean out our neglected fridge. Now, that's what I call committed friends.

We are so blessed to have such great friends & family who just love on us in every way possible. It is so humbling to continually be on the receiving end of theirs & yours support and prayers.

I pray the Lord will honor you with his blessings for the goodness you have shown Julie & I! Love, Greg

Julie asked me to write a message to you tonight because she's pretty tuckered out. Between the ouchy clots and the loopy meds she's just not up to it. Right now she's relaxing to the music of her brother Jerry's new CD. He's an amazing & gifted guitarist .

Julie appreciated so much how well they treated her in the oncology unit, (her love language is "acts of service)." So, I followed their lead and scored some big points when we got home and I cleaned up the place, did some laundry & dishes, fed the animals, vacuumed and even cleaned the toilets. But she really loved the soup I brought home for dinner.

We teamed up to start giving her shots in her tummy again. Luckily the needles come loaded up & ready to go (shots for dummies). Please pray that these new meds will help those clots disappear & keep others from forming.

We're inviting some friends & family to come over on Saturday to help put up our Christmas tree, lights and decorations. Then we'll sit around for some hot chocolate and a movie.

Several hundred people from our church are going to roll up our sleeves in a couple of weeks to do all kinds of service projects in a bunch of neighborhoods throughout our county. It's so great when we can be the hands and feet of Jesus to others in practical ways. It's also a fun way to get to know other folks that we otherwise might not meet.

Please pray for relationships that might be built through this labor of love.
Thanks for your love & prayers! Greg

New News

We have new news. First, the bad news. Julie had to be admitted back into the hospital on Friday night with a painfully swollen leg. The ultra-sound found more blood clots in her calf & thigh. The blood thinner wasn't able to slow the cancer from producing those creepy little clots after all. So, they started her on a different type of blood thinner, but it caused her blood platelets to drop. Now for the good news. They have her on another thinner that seems to be working so far. Now here's the uncertain news. Julie takes a variety of medications and each comes with its own set of side affects and sometimes they react to one another. So, between the cancer, the medications & their side affects, her body just weirds out with various symptoms that take us on an emotional roller coaster. However, I think her doctor did more than stay at a Holiday Inn. I think he actually went to school to figure how to handle these kinds of things - after all, isn't that why they pay him the big bucks (and I do mean BIG). So, if she continues to stabilize tonight (Sunday), she'll be able to go home tomorrow (Monday). Then her regular doctor will readjust his game plan.

Julie & I discovered that we happened to be reading the same passage last night & today in Psalm 103 "My whole being, praise the Lord and do not forget all his kindnesses. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases." So, that's our prayer.

Thank you for your continued concern and heart-felt prayers. The Lord is listening. Greg

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

We had a very happy Thanksgiving Day! It would have been even better if Jake could have come from Nashville and Betsy and her family could have joined us...but we'll all be together for Christmas. The Russells came and Emily helped me so much! Greg even helped yesterday and he and Nick took care of most of the clean up. Emily and Nick brought a challenging 1000 piece Coca Cola puzzle that kept us busy after the clean up. And we played our own version of pictionary with Hannah, Adam and Matthew. And we have plenty of leftovers!

I wish I could have heard Jake playing music yesterday at a special Thanksgiving dinner for homeless people in Nashville. He did it last year too and he really enjoyed it. Betsy and Cam and the boys celebrated with Cam's parents in Federal Way.

So far the only side affect I've noticed from Tarceva is tiredness. But this week has been especially busy with getting the Thanksgiving dinner ready etc. I sure apreciate your prayers concerning that. And we pray that this drug is effectively fighting the cancer cells.

I tried putting on mascara the other day. Oops. I guess I was a little over-confident. My lashes aren't quite long enough. I ended up with a smudgy mess. But it sure was fun!

I pray you are having a good weekend. Isn't it exciting that Christmas is almost here? And it's been snowing so it really puts me in the mood!

Thanks, once again, for your continued love and prayers. Love, Julie

The Golden Pills

I am so thankful that I have great health insurance! They approved the Tarceva pills! Greg is calling them "the golden pills" because the cost without insurance per month is $4200.00! He figured out that they are $130 each! I am so thankful for great health insurance. And we are praying that these costly little pills will really knock out the stupid old cancer!

Hannah, Adam, and Matthew are sleeping over tonight. We watched Kung Foo Panda, ate popcorn, Adam read us a story and they went right to sleep. No school tomorrow.

Some days I feel a little discouraged and anxious for everything to be normal again. I will start taking Tarceva tomorrow and I don't know which of the side affects will affect me. I am so thankful for your prayers.

"The Lord will fullfil His purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever." Psalm 138:8

Love, Julie

Hurray!

Hurray for the arrival of eyelashes and eyebrows! They are still very small...but it looks like they're trying very hard to grow back in! (It's great to celebrate the really important things in life!)

It's another beautiful day and I'm planning to take my naughty puppy for a walk in a little while. Boris loves walking and I know it's good for me to get outside and move a little too.

I am blessed to feel so good! Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

Jane Austen Fun

What a wonderful weekend we had with Janice here from Billings, and Liz driving up from Pasco with her kids! A definite hightlight was watching "Pride and Prejudice" with Janice, Liz, and Emily Saturday night. It was a major miracle for just the four of us to own the TV and the living room to enjoy our girl movie. So fun to sigh and gasp simultaneously. "Oh, that's the way love should be!"

I'm trying not to feel sad that Janice has to go back to her own life in Billings this afternoon. She has been such a blessing these past few days. The news we got from the doctor Thursday was disappointing to me and it's been so amazing to have Janice here to share my feelings with. She sat with me at chemo yesterday and we did some shopping afterwards when I was still loopy and couldn't tell my right from left. Somehow we managed to get where we were trying to go!

The pills haven't been approved by my insurance company yet. That's why I had to receive the drug at the cancer center intravenously yesterday. Once the pill is approved, I'll just take it daily. In two months I'll have another cat scan and meet with the doctor.

I'm learning more and more about this whole cancer thing. Lung cancer is really the pits. I feel like God has been in control of this whole process of learning just enough to get me through each day. It's when I start to think about next month or next week that I have to ask for faith not to worry. I know He loves me more than I can imagine and I just have to trust Him.

I'm so grateful for your continued prayers. It just amazes me when I hear about people who read this blog. I so appreciate all of you. Love, Julie

Julie asked me to write on her behalf tonight. So, here it goes. We met with her doctor today and he gave us the results of the latest cat scan, comparing it with the one from a couple of months ago. The cancer was reduced even more, which is very encouraging. Then the doctor laid out the game plan of where we go from here. He termed this phase "maintenance." We also met with a nurse afterwords to help us understand in a little more detail what maintenance means.

Now I'm going to try and relay this plan to you in the form of an analogy (it's how I try to make sense of complicated things). The four rounds of chemo that Julie just finished is like calling in air strikes from the air force to bomb the insurgents, but there are civilian casualties as well (both bad & good cells get killed). But now, the marines are going to be sent in to target just the insurgents (Julie will take chemo type pills every day that will kill just cancer cells). In a couple of months, we'll know if the marines arsenal has been effective in advancing or just holding ground in the war effort (will the new chemo pills work)? If so, we'll keep the marines fighting the battle. If not, we'll bring back the air force to deliver a different payload of smart bombs (we'll try another combination of drugs as chemo treatment). The goal of this war is to reduce the insurgents numbers and prevent them from recruiting any more (we want the treatments to drive the cancer to remission and maintain it there).

If you don't know what the heck I'm trying to say, please ask Julie to explain it in her own words.
Thank you for your loving concern and your persistent prayers!
Greg

A Talking Day!

It was rainy, windy and dreary outside but it was a great day! I talked on the phone to so many people in my family today! Dad, Mom, Janice, Carolyn, Jake and Betsy! And I talked to some friends too--Lana and Susan. It was a real talking day. I love talking to people!

And this morning I met with Debbie and Annette for our weekly Bible Study. It's always such a special time and I appreciate both of them so much.

I feel a real peace about tomorrow's meeting with Dr. Tezcan. Thank you for your prayers!
Love, Julie

Pins and Needles

This is the week when I should have so much faith. This is the week when I have a cat scan tomorrow and meet with my doctor Thursday to find out what comes next. Most of the time it's okay, but doubts keep creeping in and I just have to remember that God is in control. I have to give Him my worries and fears. Yesterday one of the songs we've sung many times at church really struck me in a deep way. You know that feeling when you think the song is just for you?

"So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender...
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save
Forever, author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave..."

I am so encouraged by that song and the melody is totally stuck in my head!

My sister, Janice, is coming this weekend! I can hardly wait! And Liz might come too!
Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

Much to be thankful for...

Oh my goodness! I have been so blessed that the side effects from chemo have been so mild. I know that some people feel sick and exhausted all the time. Well...this last chemo treatment hit me like a ton of bricks and I've been wrapped in my blankie and feeling tired, weak, and nauseated since Monday. Greg was so sweet and helpful last night and to help me feel better we watched an exciting Indiana Jones movie. Boy, did that help!

I have so much to be thankful for! I'm thankful that the Lord has given me this time to really think about what's most important in life. Relationships, relationships, relationships!

Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

The Slumber Party!

I haven't been to a slumber party since I was a kid! I remember the cool thing about slumber parties was NOT SLUMBERING. Now that we're a little older, not sleeping isn't so cool. We actually spent some time sleeping at this fun slumber party! Eight of us went to Teri's rich cousin's vacation home near Sandpoint Saturday afternoon and six brave souls actually spent the night. We had so much fun visiting, playing games, enjoying the hot tub, and eating. I am so thankful for my friends at Fernan! It was so great catching up on all the latest school news and just chilling with such great people. Thank you, Teri!

I will have the last treatment in my 4th cycle of chemo tomorrow morning. It would be so amazing if it was really and truly my last chemo treatment. I keep remembering "God is in control".

Thank you for your words of encouragement and your prayers. Love, Julie

Very nice Thursday

I feel good but pretty tired today. I remember the doctor saying that chemo is a cumulative thing and that I could expect to feel more tired as the treatments continue. He was right! But this morning I wrote some lesson plan ideas for my sub at Hayden Meadows. She's doing a wonderful job, but she really likes having my input. And this afternoon I got to go to Hannah's school to an assembly where she was receiving an "integrity award". It was so great to be there because she was so surprised to see her Mom and Dad, her Grandma Kathy, and me!

It's very quiet at my house because Greg went to Oregon very very early this morning and he'll return tomorrow afternoon. I plan to write lots of thank you notes this evening. I'll be able to use those very cool cards that Ellen made!

Happy Halloween and thank you for your prayers! Love, Julie

The day after chemo...

I had chemo yesterday and everything went smoothly. Last week wasn't so great at the Cancer Center. My nurse was crabby, I was cold and thirsty, and I didn't get a good chair. But yesterday I had that same nurse and she was just awesome! She was so sweet and kind to me. I'm glad I didn't blow up at her last week because it wouldn't have been good advertising for God. (She saw that I was working on my Bible Study on prayer.) Whew!

What continues to be a little crazy, in my experience, at the Cancer Center is the whole aspect of scheduling. It's such a complicated process and the doctor's secretaries and the chemo department have to coordinate. Anyway...my cat scan date is now Nov. 11 and I will see my oncologist Nov. 13. So Nov. 13 is when I'll find out what happens next. But I now know they are pretty sure I'll need more chemo because I'm already on the schedule for Nov. 17. So I'm trying not to be discouraged. For some reason, I thought this would be my last cycle of chemo. I have to remember that God is in control!

I had a wonderful surprise today! Jerry sent me two CDs of his original music and Ellen sent me a huge box of cards that she made! I'm excited to listen to the music and to use the cards.

Please know how thankful we are for your prayers. I feel so blessed! Love, Julie

Cousins

Oh my goodness! I had a wonderful time with my cousins, Cheryl and Lauri! They flew in to Spokane Friday afternoon and headed back to the airport early this afternoon so it was a very quick trip. But we packed so much great visiting into that short time! We had dinner at Dockside last night and talked and talked. When we returned to my house we talked and talked some more. Today we sat around the breakfast table in our jammies till it was 15 minutes before they had to leave and they scrambled to get dressed and out the door in time so they wouldn't have to run at the airport. (Cheryl will appreciate that running part.) I feel like we're more like sisters. Our mothers were twins and we spent so much time together growing up.

And I got to go to Costco this afternoon! The Russells came over and Greg and I joined them in an excursion to one of our favorite destinations--Costco. I always find so many things I "need" at that store.

It's been a great week. Thursday was my only sort of icky day. This cancer thing is so amazing...a total stranger came up to me at Costco and told me she went through chemo last year and she told me she would pray for me. God is so good!

Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

The plan...

Yes, I was a little wiped out after yesterday's treatment. I usually have chemo in the morning, but yesterday it was in the afternoon and I didn't get home till 6:30. I heated up some leftovers for dinner then got ready for bed at 7:00! Even though I woke up really early this morning, I have felt great today!

My doctor's office called this afternoon with some slightly different news than I understood yesterday. Here's the plan: I will have chemo just two more times, then I will have a week off, then on November 14 I will have a cat scan. On Monday, November 17, I will meet with the doctor and he will tell me, based on the results of the scan, what will happen next. Either more chemo or NOT!! We're praying that the cancer will be gone! God still does miracles, right?

Thank you for your prayers. We sure appreciate that you care about us. Love, Julie

More good news!

Julie's pretty wiped out tonight after an extra-long treatment, so she asked me to update you. We had more good news from the Doctor today. He said her lung sounded good when he listen to her breath and he said her liver felt cleared up even more since the last time. So, if everything goes as planned, she has only two more weeks of chemo. He will wait about 6 weeks after the last treatment to do a pet scan, then make a game plan of after-care. He told us at the beginning that the goal was to drive the cancer to remission and then maintain it. That would be a great Christmas present. Julie would love to begin the new year by beginning to teach again second semester. But in the meantime, we're just loving what God is doing today. Julie was so encouraged and blessed this morning with a prayer from our friend Bonanzaro in Africa:

Dear Julie,
Receive my greetings in Jesus. I am thankful to the Lord for what He is
doing in your life. There is a purpose for your healing from this cancer.
You will be a tool to comfort those who go through the same hardship. The
Lord is faithful and he will lead till the end what He started in your body.
This morning during our prayer meeting at work, we prayed for you and the
situation in Granpa and Grandma Camp's church. We are confident that the
Lord will handle the matter. May God bless you and let read you soon.
Shalom, Bananzaro 

We want to learn how to pray with the kind of confidence and authority that Banazaro prays with. Thank you for your love & prayers!
Greg

Thinking about tomorrow (take 2)

I'll be starting my last cycle of chemo tomorrow afternoon and I have an appointment with my doctor. I have lots of questions for him. I hope I'll have lots of new information to share with you tomorrow night. Like..."What happens when the chemo cycles are over?"

I'm looking forward to a visit with my cousins, Cheryl and Lauri! They are planning to come this Friday and I can hardly wait to see them!

The church I grew up in and that my parents still attend have a prayer letter ministry and they have been sending me letters every week. They are so encouraging! Anyway, last week the letter was written by my mom and I want to share part of it with you. It was so cool.

"When I was in Africa with no doctors, Bonanzaro prayed this prayer for me and I was healed. I would like to pray it for you. Jer. 17:14 "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed. Save me and I will be saved, for you are the One I praise!"

It's so good to know that I am in His hands and that He has a plan for my life! Love, Julie

Chemo Vacation

Ah...it's been a wonderful week! After every chemo cycle I get a week off and by the end of that week, I really feel great! I almost forget about the stupid old cancer. I feel so blessed that Betsy, Cam and the boys were healthy and I was healthy so I spent some very sweet days with them this week. It was an amazing little vacation. I got some video of Julian walking and being cute and of Sebastian "reading" an entire book and being cute. I feel so blessed that my daughters are good moms and that they have great husbands who are good dads.

We have been looking forward to seeing Jake at the end of the month because he and Matt were planning to include Coeur d' Alene in a concert tour. But now it looks like the tour is cancelled. Bummer.

I am so grateful to all of you who read this blog and care about us. It's so humbling to realize people love us enough to pray for us. The Lord continues to bless us through you. Thank you.
Love, Julie

Off to visit the grandkids!

I talked to Julie today and she's having a wonderful time in Seattle with Bets, Cam & the boys. Its great for her to get away for a few days to just love on those little fellas. Of course she couldn't go over there without filling her oversized suitcase with a bunch of clothes, games & books for them. And I'll bet you can guess what's she going to do when she gets there - you got it, shop some more for them. Julie plans to do a documentary of her visit with plenty of videos and pictures to share with the rest of us. We just can't seem to get enough of those kids. They change so fast we just can't seem to keep up. So, my friend, LJ, suggested getting us hooked up with a computer camera so we can see them when we talk to them.

I had so much fun teaching a class for young parents tonight. (I still refer to anyone under forty as a kid) We went through some basic fundamentals together and they each walked away paired up with marriage & family mentors for support and accountability. Those mentors are going to be asking a set of questions related to those fundamentals each week and will also walk along side these parents for a while, because I think it takes a church/village to raise a kid.

Thank you for your prayers!
Please let us know how we can pray for you.
Greg

Enjoying the season...

Greg and I went with the Russells to Green Bluff today and Emily and the kids had an adventure in a corn maze, the kids got to go on a little train ride, and we picked out pumpkins in a real pumpkin patch. We ate popcorn and caramel apples and drank hot apple cider. It was a great day. But it sure was chilly outside! The sky was blue and the sun was shining...but we nearly froze in the chilly wind! All part of the adventure...To quote Hannah "This is going to be a memorable weekend."

I'm feeling like wearing a paper bag over my head! My poor skin is not enjoying this new chemo drug. I guess I shouldn't be so vain or I should just avoid mirrors.

I'm hoping to visit Betsy and Cam and Sebastian and Julian next week. I am so excited! Julian has changed so much just since the wedding! He walks and points and does all kinds of cool things. And Sebastian sang a little song on the phone for me last night. What a smart and talented little guy!

Hope you're enjoying your weekend! And thanks for your prayers. Love, Julie

Celebrating!

They told me to expect a rash as a result of the new drug that is attacking the cancer cells. And it's here! On my chin and neck. I feel like I'm going thr0ugh puberty. The rash is supposed to signify that the drug is working so hurray for zits!

Today was a quiet day. I feel pretty good but I have no energy. I'm looking forward to a chemo-free week next week!

Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

Chemo Monday--Julian's birthday!

Another grandchild's birthday today! Betsy and Cam's little Julian is celebrating his first birthday today! Wish we could be there with them. But...today was "Chemo Day" and I never would have believed it when I first started this whole process, but I actually enjoy being at the Cancer Center and the treatments aren't that bad. The nurses are so nice and now they all know my name and it feels very comfortable. My nurse today is the same height as me and she insisted that I have one of the "good chairs". She asked one of the regular sized people if they had ever sat in a chair that was too big and uncomfortable and had to stay in it for over 4 hours. Silence. So we short people got our way!

Time is going so fast! I finished my third cycle today. This cycle was only three weeks. So I have next week off from chemo to let my cells try to build up. Then, if everything goes as planned, I'll have one more cycle of chemo. I'm feeling a little anxious about what comes next. But this is yet another example of not having control over anything. So I'll let the Lord take over on that one. When I start to worry, I try to pray instead.

It was great to have Liz here for a brief time this weekend. We had a good visit and had Starbucks together. Mmmm. It tasted good yesterday!

I'm hoping for a good day tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

Saturday already!

I can't believe how fast this week has gone! Except for lousy Tuesday, I have felt great. I almost feel like I have enough energy to teach! If only kids weren't so germy.

This afternoon we went to Hannah's birthday celebration at Emily and Nick's. It was a really fun party. Liz and Emma came to the party from Pasco and tonight they will spend the night here. I've been looking forward to sister time!

Hope you're having a wonderful weekend. Love, Julie

Happy Birthday, Hannah!

It's Hannah's 11th birthday today. Doesn't seem possible that we were gathered in the hospital waiting for our little Hannah to arrive eleven years ago!

Mom and Dad left this morning after Greg went to work and the house was very quiet without their cheerful voices. I am so thankful for them and so glad they could come to visit for a few days. We enjoyed Mom's cooking and she cleaned my floors and vacuumed and she worked in my kitchen yesterday and organized some scary places. Like under the kitchen sink. And the place where my pots and pans are stored. She was very happy to find a special frying pan she'd been looking for. In the very back of my pots and pans. Go figure.

Yesterday I did not feel well, but today was much better. I think it may have been from the new drug added to my chemo. But hooray! I certainly can put up with some days of feeling lousy knowing that drug is beating up on the cancer cells.

Thank you for your faithful prayers. I'm thankful for you all. Love, Julie

Long Day

Mom went with me to the Cancer Center this morning at 8:30. She got to see my chemo day routine: blood draw from my port, taking my blood samples to the lab, then the waiting. The lab has to do their thing with the blood samples, then they send info up to the pharmacy. The pharmacy puts all the chemo drugs for my treatment into zip loc bags labeled very carefully. My chemo was scheduled for 9:30 but I sat in the chair waiting and waiting. But Mom and I chatted and I introduced her to lots of the nurses. Finally my stuff arrived from the pharmacy at 10:30. I mentioned to the nurse that my oncologist was hoping to add another drug to my chemo this week. She looked in my file and then realized she had to go back to the pharmacy and get that drug. So finally my chemotherapy began at 11:00. Oh...and adding this new drug meant adding 2 more hours to my chemo today! So my usual 2 1/2 hour chemo time became 4 1/2 hours today. Poor Mom. At least she had her diary and a book to read. We got home at about 4:00 this afternoon.

Although it was a little annoying that things took so long today, I am very excited about the new drug. My chemo treatment is geared at killing all the fast growing cells in my body. Because cancer cells grow really fast. But in killing the fast growing cancer cells, they also kill a lot of other cells in my body. That's why my hair fell out. This new drug will attack only my cancer cells and is designed to keep the cells from dividing. I'll tell you more about it when I understand it better myself. Anyway, Praise the Lord for another weapon in fighting this stuff!

Dad and Greg had a fun time buying groceries at Freddies, going to Costco, and test-driving a Prius. All evening tonight Greg was trying to figure out how much the payments would be. I can tell he's tempted...Mom made a delici0us meal tonight! She promised she would send me the recipe ( she made it by memory) so I can make the Thai Chicken Noodle dish she made tonight.

I keep running into people who tell me they are reading this blog and it makes me so happy to know people are interested in what's going on with us. I always love reading your comments. Thank you for remembering me in your prayers. Love, Julie

Friday

I felt great today and I put on my favorite red hat and I went to Fernan to deliver a bowl, a soup pot, and some thank you notes. It was so great to see many of my friends and I got lots of hugs from kids. It was interesting that when kids first saw me, they were kind of shy. I look different to them of course. But when I talked with them I could tell they relaxed and were thinking "It's still the same Mrs. Johnson!"

I'm excited because Mom and Dad are coming tomorrow! Mom promised to bring goodies from the garden. I just love watching Mom in my kitchen. She can open the fridge and make a quick survey of what's there and then make a wonderful meal using whatever she finds. She is truly gifted. And we all get to enjoy her "gift"!

Have a great weekend. Thank you for your prayers! Love, Julie

Back to the Battle!

After the great news on Monday, I started my third cycle of chemo. Now we know that the treatments are working and that sure is encouraging! The day after chemo I usually feel great and have energy. That was yesterday. But the next day I usually feel like a blob and I spend most of the day curled up in my cuddley blanket in my comfy chair. That was today. Greg came home a little early and this evening we played some very intense games of Crazy Eights. (I always let Greg win at least part of the time. He has more fun when he wins.)

I know the Lord is always with me and I pray that He will be able to work in my heart and help me be more like Him through this. I am so thankful for your words of encouragement and your prayers. I feel like a whole army is fighting this battle with me! Love, Julie

Great News!

We got the results from the latest cat scan today and the doctor compared it to the cat scan done at the beginning of the summer. We were able to see on a computer screen how big and creepy the tumor looked in July and now it looks like someone stepped on it. I felt like jumping up and hugging the doctor, but I grabbed Julie instead. Not only that, but the blood clots in the lung are gone and some of the lesions in her liver are gone. This has God's handiwork written all over it!

Julie's half way there and has two more months to go with her treatments. The doctor would like to add one more drug to the chemo mix that is designed to go after the specific type of cancer she has. I would tell you what this all means if I could understand what language her doctor speaks, but basically it is one more powerful weapon in the treatment arsenal. One of the weird side affects of this drug are pimples. I guess if the trade off is pimples or tumors, we'll find some clearasil.

The prayers of so many have done so much. We not only have seen God move His hand in Julie's healing process, but He has also opened up some wonderful opportunities to share heart to heart conversations with family and friends. Some of those chats have become eternally significant because we have had a chance to share about the love of Jesus. We know there is no way to Christian maturity except through pain (which is a drag), but it has increased our dependency on the Lord. Julie says she would like to have some control over something in her life, but she knows God wants to prove to her that He's got her best interest in mind.

Julie's last cold turned into phenomena (but she's okay now). So, we'll have to be careful to stay away from snotty little kids. Please pray that the Lord will continue to use the doctors & treatments to push this cancer into remission and keep it there.

Thank you for care, concern & prayers!
Greg

Peace of mind

I appreciate your prayers today. For some reason I was a little nervous about the cat scan. It's not that it was a test I was supposed to study for or anything...I'm just anxious to know whether the chemo has been working. Greg spent the whole day with me and he was so supportive. We will find out the results on Monday. And we are amazingly calm and at peace. Thank you for your prayers!

I am losing my eyebrows and eyelashes. That's not cool. But I went to my favorite Merle Norman lady and she taught me how to draw eyebrows and they actually look pretty good! I just need to practice so they won't look too fakey.

Hope you all have a great weekend. Love, Julie

Sunny Thursday!

It's been a great day! So warm and sunny outside! I had a full social schedule today...went out to lunch with my friend and neighbor, Sue. We had a nice chat and we both liked the chance to eat at Chili's, a place neither of our husbands enjoy.

I got to experience the joy of unplugging a plugged up toilet with a plunger this morning. It was the first time in my life I'd done that. Aren't you glad I shared that information?

This afternoon my friend, Sherma, who teaches first grade at Fernan, brought a wonderful dinner prepared by some people I worked with at Fernan. Thank you so much Tina, Teri, and Sherma. Greg and I are so grateful and humbled by everyone's kindness and generosity. Our expanding waist-lines are proof of everyone's kindness and generosity.

Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

One more thing!

Visiting family in Oregon was great medicine, especially for Julie. We ate fresh meals from the garden, drank homemade grape juice, indulged in desserts and gained 10 pounds in three days. I think Gloria gets her feelings hurt if you're able to button up your pants when you leave.

We also had a chance to join my friend and colleague, Bill Putman from our church, to come along side the people in leadership at Julie's parents church. They individually and collectively went through an assessment to see how far God has brought them, find out where they stand at this point, and will begin to make a plan of where they want to go next together. I am both humbled and tickled to be part of their process. So, I'll try hard not to screw it up.

LJ, the best assistant in the world, and her husband, Charlie, came over tonight to teach me how to prepare "Spoonburgers" (sort of a sloppy Joe's type meal). If you are ever in a situation where someone says to you "if there's anything we can do to help," ask them to show you how to cook a meal, then stick around to feast and have fellowship. That is the best kind of favor you can do for someone. I just love those guys and the experience we shared. And LJ got me a man apron to boot. How cool is that?

Thanks for praying & caring! Greg

Hello Everyone!

Greg and I had a wonderful but very quick weekend in Oregon. We had a great time staying at Mom and Dad's and enjoyed delicious veggies from their garden. We also had a chance to visit with Tim and Mika and Elijah, Robert, Darrel and Kathy and Rachel, and my cousin Lauri and her family. It was so nice of them to come to see us. We also had the chance to see lots of old friends from Calvary Mennonite Church.

This past week has been harder for me. I'm trying not to worry about the cat scan this Friday which will show us whether the tumors are responding to chemotherapy. I know I am not to worry about anything but to pray about everything and God will give me His peace. Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

Coughy Wheezy Day

I've been getting so used to enjoying cough-free days with no wheezing. But today I've been coughing and wheezing. Bummer.

Debbie King brought over a wonderful salmon dinner tonight! Thank you, Debbie! We loved your new recipe!

We are looking forward to a very quick trip to Oregon this weekend. Boris is looking forward to playing with Buddy and Lucy while we are away. (Buddy and Lucy will probably be glad when we take our frisky puppy home!) Thanks for taking care of him, Emily.

Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

finished with second cycle of chemo

This morning I had my last chemo treatment in cycle #2! It went smoothly and I got to sit in a chair that was right by the window and I really enjoyed the warmth of the sun shining in! Greg brought me home and I slept for three hours and I'm still very droopy feeling. Not sick! Just droopy. I get to enjoy time off from chemo till Sept. 22! That's when cycle #3 begins. I will have a cat scan next Friday afternoon and the doctor will be able to tell me the results of that when I see him Sept. 22. I'm expecting that the tumors are shrinking because my breathing is so much improved. But I still feel a little anxious about it. My treatment will either continue with chemo once a week, or he'll have a different plan of attack. I just have to wait and see.

Georgette works in the preschool with Emily at Fernan and she brought a wonderful Italian dinner for tonight! We felt so spoiled! It was delicious!

I read the coolest verse this morning, Zephaniah 3:17:

"The Lord your God is with you; the mighty one will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you."

It's so amazing to think about how much God loves us. Thank you for your love and prayers.
Love, Julie

A Great Saturday

It was so great to get back into our Friday night routine of having Hannah and Adam sleep over at our house and then going to breakfast at McDonald's Saturday morning! I really appreciate being able to do those little things again. Grandchildren are wonderful and I love reading to them and having them spend time at our house. It won't be long till Matthew can stay too. He's still just a little too high maintenance. I sure wish Sebastian and Julian lived closer.

Greg was a very good Grandpa today. He walked with the kids on the boardwalk and Tubbs Hill. Then he took them to a 3-D movie, "Journey to the Center of the Earth". They really liked it.

I enjoyed a very short visit at Fernan Friday afternoon. I had a couple of things to deliver and I loved seeing some special friends. But it was a little sad to be there and not be teaching.

Greg learned another recipe and is anxious to try it. I like this new enthusiasm he has for learning to cook! Hope you're having a good weekend. Love, Julie

It's a good week!

We had a good time with Liz and the kids. Liz and I even managed to get a little shopping in. Janice and her friend, Connie, came last night and left this morning heading for Billings. They had taken Mary to George Fox. We had a nice visit. Sisters are the best kind of medicine. Brothers too...hint hint...

It was strange to see school buses yesterday and to realize it was the first day of school and I was on my way to chemo at the Cancer Center instead of getting ready to teach my first class. I was so wiped out after chemo that I came home and slept for two hours. But I feel great today and I've had plenty of energy and my breathing is easy!

Drum roll please! Greg Johnson cooked dinner tonight! Actually he was coached by our friend, Lou Quiring. Lou and Carol came over and Lou taught Greg how to make a Quiring family favorite dish called Idaho Buffet. Or something like that. It was delicious! Be sure to ask Greg for the recipe.

We appreciate all your support and prayers. God continues to bless us daily. Love, Julie

This is my story

This is My Story

I was born in Kellogg, Idaho, which makes me of the leaded persuasion. I spent my elementary years in St. Maries, where, in at least my family, beer was considered a food group. I learned my anger management skills from loggers, mill workers and minors, where mediation took place in the bars. We moved to Dallas, Oregon where I spent my junior and senior high years. The combination of being under the influence of lead and a chosen lifestyle of partying, didn’t exactly translate in to academic prowess. However, I did channel my aggressive energies to sports where I could get away with being mean.

While drinking made me stupid, the introduction of drugs made me crazy. I got to the place where I couldn’t even stand being around myself. I’d become a creep in deep need of a new life. When I’d finally hit rock bottom, I ran into a Christian. This girl was one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met, who cared sincerely for others. For some reason she let me hang out with her. We dated for a couple of years, and at a weak moment, she said ‘yes’ when I proposed. One friend said that the reason my life began to come together was because I met a good woman. I agreed, but I told him that I wanted to find out what made her a good person and I wanted a piece of that action. For her it wasn’t about having a religion about God, it was about having a relationship with God that taught her how to love even a goofball like me.

So, I checked Julie out, we dated, went steady, got engaged, then were married. During the courtship, I met her family; we called one another regularly & wrote love letters to each other. My relationship with God followed a similar path. I checked out the overwhelming evidence that supported the existence of Jesus. I met God’s loving extended family – the church – and started hanging out with them. I began to read His love letters – the Bible – and I began to understand the realities of God’s truth that began to transform the way I thought and acted. Then just like how I exchanged a vow with Julie at our wedding, God wanted me to say “I do” to having a relationship with Him for this life and the life beyond. So, I said “yes” and invited Jesus into my life and He’s been helping me to learn how to love Him and others ever since.

After graduating from college, I began a career being a friend to kids, parents & families in a variety of ways – as a social worker, youth pastor, school counselor and now as a family pastor at our church. Julie and I celebrated our 33^rd anniversary (I don’t know how she did it), we’ve raised 3 pretty neat kids (who like us better now that they’re adults) and now we’re messing with our 5 grand kid’s lives.

I am living proof that God can love an unlovable guy, change his heart, use his limited abilities to find other knuckle-heads (just like me), love on them and introduce them to Jesus so they can get loved on by Him too. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, now I’d sure like to hear your story.

Greg Johnson

Saturday update

Hello everyone!
I was so happy to visit Hayden Meadows Friday morning and to see that my Music Room is completely set up and decorated! I was planning to work on it myself and my friends, Barb and Jean, were going to help me. But my friends finished the whole thing without me. I spent most of that day sleeping. I think it was a combination of feeling worn out from the wonderful wedding weekend and chemo on Tuesday. Second cycle of chemo! Hooray!

Jake will not be subbing for me afterall. The timing just isn't going to work out for him. It looks like the recording he's been working on with Matt is finally coming together and this fall will probably be very exciting for them. He left for Nashville Friday and I miss having him around. I was bummed at first that he won't be teaching for me, but I'm so happy for him! The school district has already hired a long-term sub for me so everything is working out just fine.

I had an ultra-sound on Thursday to check the progress of dissolving those nasty blood clots in my legs. It takes a long time for them to completely dissolve and I guess the stupid things are still there. Stupid blood clots.

I'm excited that Liz and Emma and Evan are coming to visit tomorrow afternoon!

Happy Labor Day Weekend! Love, Julie

About the wedding...

Betsy Johnson is now Betsy Arneson! She and Cameron were married Sunday, August 24 at Normandy Park in Seattle. It was a lovely sunny morning...a perfect day for an outdoor wedding. But suddenly, right before the service was to begin, you guessed it, it started raining! So the beautifully decorated archway was moved from the pretty landscaped area, to a big covered deck. By the time the wedding actually took place, both Sebastian and Julian were sound asleep on Greg and my laps. They were very well-behaved at their parent's wedding. Jake played the guitar and Emily was the matron of honor. Hannah was a junior bridesmaid and Adam was the ring-bearer. The decorations were beautiful. We had enough food for the whole Normanday neighborhood. Many many thanks to Kathy for all her help with many things and to Carolyn and Maddie for taking over the kitchen with help from Liz. Mom was the photographer and she did an awesome job. Thanks, everyone for your prayers for us this weekend.

It was so great to have a break from chemo. I almost forgot I had cancer because I felt so good and had so much energy for the wedding weekend. But I started my second cycle of chemo this morning. Back to reality.

Today is Greg's birthday so we ate take-out from Olive Garden with the Russells. Janice and Mary and Janice's friend are here for the night. They will take Mary to George Fox University tomorrow. My little niece, Mary, is in college!

We are so grateful for your prayers and it is so fun to hear from so many of you that I haven't seen in such a long time! Love, Julie

Julian, Sebastian and their Grandparents

there was a wedding!

Off to the wedding!

We are so excited about Betsy and Cameron's wedding in Seattle this weekend! It will be a fun and relaxed celebration with lots of family and friends. It will take place in a beautiful private park right on Puget Sound. It's amazing that Betsy and Cam have been together since they were sixteen! Cameron has seemed like a member of our family for a long time.

I'm so thankful that I feel so healthy at this special time! I'm grateful for my sister in law, Kathy, because she is coming to help me take care of details that come up. There's always something...

Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate all of you so much! Love, Julie

Doctors visit

Julie had an appointment today to see her doctor to get an update on her progress. Julie happily reported to him that she has been breathing well and feeling healthy with the break from chemo. He told us that "clinically speaking" everything indicates that the chemo is working, because the tumor is no longer obstructing her air passageway and he couldn't feel a lump in her liver anymore. So, we are cautiously optimistic. We will know more definitively what is happening when they perform another pet scan after the next round of chemo. They will also know how well the treatment is helping her body absorb the blood clots in her legs and lung.

The prayers of so many have kept Julie upbeat, positive and thankful to the Lord. Now she can concentrate on being the mom of the bride-to-be this weekend and she'll be stylin with her new dress and accessories. (But I just don't get why she needed 4 new pairs of shoes)

Thank you very much for your love, support and encouragement. There really is the power of life in words. Love, Greg

Teaching Plans

Today Greg helped me pack up my Fernan music room and now I have all the stuff I've collected over the years; books, costumes, decorations, stage lights, CDs and videos, instruments, and tons of other stuff in our basement. I taught at Fernan eight years and I feel so connected to the staff and the families. But I will be the music teacher at Hayden Meadows this coming year and I'm excited to get connected to another great staff and to be a part of the lives of hundreds of new children and their families. It will be an interesting year for me and for my new school because I don't plan to officially start teaching until January. I am thrilled that Jake has decided to move back to CDA until after Christmas so he will be able to me my sub most of the time. How cool is that? I know the kids will love Jake and I will help him plan all the lessons.

I'm a little sad to miss out on the first months of the school year, especially since I'm changing to a new school. But Greg and I decided that my first priority should be to get well! Teaching elementary music takes a lot of energy and is challenging even when you're 100% healthy! I hope to spend some time every week at the school and to be involved as much as possible.

Thank you for your love, prayers, and your comments! Hi David Camp! So great to hear from you!
Love, Julie

Social Butterflies

Yes, today we were social butterflies! A friend of Greg's, Bill Essary, wanted Greg and I to enjoy going out to a nice dinner. He took care of all the arrangements and the check, and we had a very nice and delicious lunch at Beverly's. Thank you, Bill! Tonight we split a salad at Azteca with some friends.

I'm breathing very easily these days. Haven't used the nebulizer once today! Thank you, Lord!

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to
show that this all-surpassing
power is from
God and not from us." II Cor. 4:7

Thank you for your continued prayers. Love, Julie

Thank you for sharing...

Thank you so much, Amanda and Maddie, for sharing your Mom with me! You have no idea how special it was to have my sister here for a few days! I know you missed her and now you have her back. So be extra nice to her! Thank you Rob, Lauren, and Zach too.

I loved spending time with my sister, Carolyn. She's so fun to hang out with. She energizes everyone. And she sure did help me get ready to be a classy mother of the bride for Betsy's wedding. (I always gravitate to the clunky man type shoes, but Carolyn steered me to the pretty "What not to wear" type shoes.) Jake and I took her to the airport this morning and now she's home in Billings. The house seems so quiet without her.

I have wonderful news...my blood test showed that I don't have to give myself fragmin shots anymore. My poor tummy was getting so full of little bruises from the dumb shots. Fragmin is a blood thinner that the doctor prescribed to dissolve the blood clots. Now I graduated to just taking coumadin pills. No more shots. Hurray.

I love reading your comments. It's been so great to hear from people I haven't talked to in a long time like my cousin, Debbie. (Debbie, I so appreciate your kind words.) And Jerry, you inspired me to maybe try writing some music. I haven't done that in years!

Thank you for your love and prayers. Love, Julie

I did have a great day, Liz!

We shopped till we dropped! Carolyn was helping me search for just the right shrug to wear with the cool dress we found for me to wear as mother of the bride at Betsy's wedding. That sentence seems like it should end with "the house that Jack built". Tomorrow we'll search for just the right shoes and jewelry. And I have an appointment to have my wig sized. It's too big and a little too poofy on the sides. This is very important information to share on a blog.

Happy Tuesday. Love, Julie

Thoughts about '68 reunion

Here are my thoughts about our class of ’68 reunion. (From Greg)

On the drive back to Coeur d’Alene from our 40^th class reunion I got all reflective and philosophical. I thought about how we have all, for the most part, gone through the same stages of life together: moving through the awkward & weird transition from teenagers into adulthood; through the frantic search to find a spouse (who, in at least in my case, would hang in there with me); through the training & choosing of careers that we have slaved away at; and wearily treaded through the confused state of parenthood. I think that this might be one of the reasons we continue to want to reconnect with one another – to compare notes to see how and the heck we can get through the next stage of life.

As I listen to some of you classmates share your stories, there seemed to be themes that many of us are experiencing at this stage of our lives: the joys of grand parenting; grief over the loss of a loved one; laughter about the goofy things we do; crying over estranged relationships; deep fulfillment of unfailing love; fears and struggles related to health issues; financial securities and insecurities; defining and redefining priorities in life; expressing concerns about our kids; helping our parents transition through to the next stage of their lives; and thinking about what legacy we might leave…

But for the seven-hour trip back home, I wrote down a bunch of questions that I have for this stage of our lives. So, I thought I’d pass them on to you to see if you are asking yourself similar questions and I’d like to know how you might answer any of these questions. So, please write back and let me know.

1. How do I draw the line between helping our kids and enabling them? Am I encouraging them or am I still trying to give them advice? Do I just spoil my grandkids, or have I earned the right to speak into their lives to help direct them?
2. Did I or have I done everything I could for my parents? Am I beating myself up with guilt? Or am I shrugging my shoulders and trying to convince myself that what I did was good enough?
3. What keeps me from actively seeking to reconcile broken relationships? Am I trying to justify my knee jerk reactions by playing the blame game and claiming that “they started it?” Do I understand what fears tend to hold me back?
4. Do I try and justify rewarding myself with my addictive behaviors for: overcoming some obstacle, being a martyr, achieving some goal, to numb some pain, or to camouflage some reality?
5. Do I sometimes feel victimized by life circumstances and believe that the world owes me a favor and when nobody pays up, do I feel cheated? Or do I think that I need to pick myself up by my bootstraps and move on? Or do I ask for help?
6. Am I living my life as if it has design and purpose? Or do I try and make do with whatever I invent as sort of make-it-up-as-I-go philosophy? Or do I embrace or avoid examining God’s standard for living laid out in the Bible?
7. Do I see my life’s story as part of a bigger story being written or is it all about me? Am I willing to research the claims that the Bible says about God’s story?
8. Do I intentionally invite others to challenge my views of life or do I feel threatened by other lifestyles?
9. Do I solicit the support of others when I experience loss or do I tend to isolate myself? Am I there for others when they go through the tough stuff?
10. Do I continue to view myself as someone who has something valuable to offer others or do I believe that I have paid my dues and want to coast on out of here?
11. Do I write people off who have hurt me or someone I love, or do I follow the example of those who have the desire and strength to forgive?
12. Do I ask for accountability for my words and actions or do I do whatever I want to do because I don’t care about what other people think?
13. Do I continue to want to improve my marriage by reading books, attending seminars, listening to CD’s, mentoring with other couples, or do I just hope that the same-o-same-o somehow works out?
14. Do I put all my trust for security and peace of mind in my retirement plan, investments and the government system, or do I trust that God has my best interest in mind and offers me a kind of peace that money can’t buy?
15. How do I want my family and friends to remember me? As I guy who meant well, but didn’t sacrificially invests his whole heart into their lives? Or a dad, son, husband, brother, grandpa, Christian, friend who loved them well and pointed them toward the source of that love – God?

A New Look

I have a buzz cut! It feels so good not to have clumps of hair in my hand everytime I touch my head! And today Jake and Carolyn helped me pick out a cool wig! I tried on a very beautiful long dark wavy wig, but it just wasn't me. I ended up with one that looks very much like my own hair. Amazing.

Hope your Monday was as wonderful as mine! Love, Julie

Much Better Day

Today was much better! We went to Coeur d' Alene Summer Theatre's production of Les Miserables this afternoon and it was so good and I only coughed one time. The voices were amazing and all of the characters sang with so much emotion. My favorite was Darcy Wright who was Epomine. Everytime she sang I felt like crying because she sang so beautifully.

I'm excited because I have two weeks off of chemo-therapy. My next chemo is August 26, Greg's birthday. That's when I will start my second cycle. But I will enjoy having some time to build up my poor tired cells and get ready to tear them all down again. Chemo is nasty stuff--but it sure is worth it to get well!

Sorry I was such a downer last night. But everyone says they want me to be honest. So I am!

Thank you for your prayers and for writing comments to my blog. You have no idea how encouraging you are to me. Thank you! Love, Julie

Not feeling so great...

I've been so blessed to not experience extreme side affects from chemo. I have felt so good the last few days. Breathing is great...energy seems to be increasing. But today was the pits. I had a little pitty party for myself...I feel nauseated, exhausted, and my hair is falling out. I feel like I'm shedding.

But Carolyn and Rob and Amanda and Maddie are visiting and they are such a fun bunch. They really lift my spirits. And Jake is here and he's been very thoughtful and helpful. (Greg is in Oregon this weekend.)

Thank goodness, my life is in God's hands! I can't imagine going through this without faith in Christ. "The LORD is great and worthy of our praise; no one can understand how great He is!" Psalm 145:3

Thank you for your prayers. Love, Julie

August 7 medical update

Today was a very good day. I only needed the nebulizer once and that was this morning! I spent a lot of time at the Cancer Center today. First blood work at 8:40, then a meeting with the oncologist at 9:45ish, followed by 2 1/2 hours of chemotherapy. Everything always takes much longer than is on the schedule so we are getting used to bringing books to read etc. I didn't get home till after 2:30 this afternoon.

We are thrilled that the doctor said "Clinically speaking, you have improved." My lungs were clear and he didn't hear wheezing at all! Next week I will get a chest x-ray and he'll be able to see whether the tumor is shrinking.

I asked him about teaching this fall. I told him the school district wants to know my plans. Dr. Tezcan asked "What are your plans?" He told me he could write the order to put me on disability for the year. But he could tell that I want to teach. He suggested I work out a part-time arrangement and have a really good sub who could step in if I was having a bad day.
So my friend, Lana, is going to come tomorrow and help me come up with some ideas. Very exciting.

They told me I'm doing excellent with the chemo. But...news flash...my hair is starting to fall out. So hopefully Carolyn will go wig-shopping with me when she comes. I don't want to be bald at Betsy's wedding.

Thank you for your prayers! Love, Julie

Prayers from Africa!

Dear Julie,
Receive our greetings in Jesus. The Lord is so wonderful and you cannot
imagine what blessing your parents are for my family since the very day we
met in Burkina. They have contributed to make me what I am today. So, I am
grateful to the Lord whenever  dealing with what concerns Ron and Gloria.
With my family and our small community, we are confident that God is at work
in your body. People of my tribe say that"a sickness comes one day, but it
takes time to leave the body." In Jesus' name we know it is already defeated
in your body and is leaving. So, stand firm.
May God bless you and your family.
Bananzaro

I received this email from a dear friend of my parents' in Burkina Faso.  I wanted to share it with all of you.
It's so amazing to know Christians in Africa are praying for me and my family.  Love, Julie

Feeding chickens in the dark

My brother called me and we chatted while he was feeding his chickens in the dark. He certainly is a talented person. And I bet his chickens like him.

Today was a good day! I got blood work done on the 2nd floor because they can draw my blood from my cool Port. I felt so cool walking by the regular lab where all these people were waiting to have their blood drawn from veins in their poor little arms. I'm so beyond that!

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength." Proverbs 17:22

Thank you for your love and prayers. Love, Julie

Caretaker?

I can't even take care of myself, but I'm having to step up and be there for Julie. It's kind of on-the-job training. I've had my head in the sand for a long time and have known next to nothing about cancer. But we have been meeting a great bunch of folks, both medical staff and patients, who are sharing openly from their hearts and experience the hard realities of this creepy disease and the surprising upsides of this journey. Sometimes we get sensory overload with books, questions, pamphlets, Internet, suggestions, e-mails, text messages, phone calls & visits. But it's all good. Julie says that visiting with friends and family just pump her up.

I copped an attitude last week (because I think cancer sucks) and I was pouting around the guys I work with. They were patient enough to let me blow off some steam and bawl my eyes out. I use to think when David wrote the Psalms that he was a bit of a whiner. But now when I read those passages I see them through a new set of eyeballs.

I'm reading a book called "What Cancer Cannot Do." Cancer is so limited...It cannot cripple love, shatter hope, corrode faith, kill friendship, suppress memories, silence courage, invade the soul, steal eternal life or conquer the spirit.

Thanks for praying! God is answering.

Beautiful Sunday

Okay, so the past two days have not been good days for breathing. It takes me awhile to get going in the morning. But I think today is a little better than yesterday. I even went grocery shopping by myself and it was so great to do something normal! (I love to shop for groceries.) And this afternoon Greg and I went for a drive by the lake and it is just a beautiful day! We missed Art on the Green this year so we can at least say we saw it from our car windows. And to end our perfect date we got blizzards at Dairy Queen. Nothing beats a Heath Blizzard.
It is so humbling to think about how many people are praying for me and for my family. Thank you so much. And I love reading the comments you are sending! Love, Julie

First day of August!

This is the time of the summer when I start to get geared up for the beginning of school. I love shopping for school supplies and planning how I will decorate my classroom. I'm a little sad because I don't know when I'll be able to teach. We'll talk to the doctor about all that on Thursday. But I'm trying to remember to take one day at a time and to appreciate every day. And not to think much ahead.
But today was another good day for breathing! I think that dumb old tumor is shrinking...I sure feel like I can get more air now.
Janice and Abbie left this morning and I felt sad to see them drive away. They were such a blessing to us! Abbie set up this blog and gave me so many thoughtful gifts. And Janice was such an encouragement to both Greg and myself. And she cleaned my freezer. Only a loving sister could do a yucky job like that.
Thanks, everyone, for your love and prayers.
"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold."
Job 23:10

Love, Julie

Me, Matthew, Sebastian and Jake

Uncle Jake is being funny

MY SILLLY MOM

This is a picture of my sweet Mom in the latest Idaho fashion statement. Hope you like it.
Love, Julie

Adam, Hannah, Matthew 2007

Thank you for your prayers

I just want you all to know that I am experiencing how really powerful prayer can be! I feel so humbled when I hear how many of you are praying for me and for my family. So here are some things I am so thankful for: I still have my cute hair! And I have been tolerating the chemo without getting nauseated. I just get really tired and let everyone spoil me until my energy returns.
We're still praying that the tumor in my lung is shrinking. But most of all we are praying that God will be glorified in all this. He is in control and He loves us more than we can imagine.
Love, Julie

newby gets 3rd chemo

Today was a great day! I could breathe all day! This afternoon I had my third chemotherapy and this time it was through my fancy newly installed Port! It was so amazing! But I have to remember to wear the right shirt so it will be easy to access. I'm still learning so many little details--I feel like a newby at all this complicated cancer stuff. I always have my trusty little white binder they gave me in the hospital that I was instructed to bring to all my appointments. I feel like all the other chemo patients are looking at me and thinking "Oh, she has her little white binder...she must be a newby." Tonight we are having a fun evening with Janice and Abbie and The Russells. (they are very important) I'm so excited about this blog and I hope lots of us can enjoy it!

Love, Julie

Family

Welcome

Welcome to Julie and Greg Johnson's blog site!!